andrea kay

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

2012-02-08T01:30:00.001-07:00

Moving to Phoenix has been an interesting adventure. It has been wonderful and horrible. But it has been everything I have needed it to be.

I went to institute tonight. We talked about a lot of things. One of which was having faith and following God's plan for each of us. When the opportunity to move to Phoenix came up it felt so good and so right. I knew it was the right thing for me. But it has been far from flowers and butterflies since I moved. I have some wonderful friends here and love the weather. Really, I love Phoenix. But I would be lying if I didn't say it has been excruciatingly difficult. Like, curl up in a ball and cry until there are no more tears. Then cry some more. And some more.

So anyway. I'm sort of at a crossroads. I have always been a financially smart person. My credit is good. I don't spend money frivolously. I bought a house because it was a wise and good decision that felt so right. And now my life has taken a very different turn. And my house is not something I want/need. And I'm going to have to short sale. Which will kill my credit. Majorly. But it will be okay. There is more to life than great credit. The freedom to live my dreams will come with selling the house. And my dreams don't require good credit.

Funny how decisions that were so led by the Spirit in my life (buying a house, moving to Phoenix) have created a great deal of heartache and trauma for me. All of this is helping me become the person I want to be. And honestly, I love the idea of having the doors of opportunity wide open to me.

When all is said and done, I will have the financial freedom to live my dreams. I will have so many opportunities to do so much good with the money I won't be spending on my mortgage each month. It will all be okay. It always is. Things work out. They never seem to work out the way I plan, but they always work out better than I dreamed for myself.

So here's to the next step of my life. I can't wait to see what is coming next. I'm looking forward to having hind sight and understanding what all of this has taught me.

And I'm looking forward to monumentally decreasing my stress level by selling the house. I will be able to get through without so many breakdowns and tears. Good things will come. And I'm excited to find out what is next!

Things that make me giddy

2011-12-28T00:39:00.002-07:00

1. I DON'T HAVE LUPUS!!! I cannot explain enough how happy I am about that. I have had this pall hanging over me for the last few months, and it is lovely to know that I don't have lupus. We aren't sure what I have, but I'm feeling much better as of late. I'm pretty sure I have night-shift-disease.

2. Christmas. I didn't get to go home for Christmas, but was still ridiculously happy about Christmas. My friends probably got sick and tired of me making them listen to Christmas music, but I just can't help it. I'm a little sad that it is already past.

3. Friends. My definition of a friend has been greatly refined as of late. My true friends are the people who take me as I am, and love me more because I am quirky/nerdy/giddy/sarcastic/and my own person. I'm not afraid to speak my mind, and my friends appreciate that, instead of taking a step back. Love that.

4. Family. I have a great family. I call and bug my family a lot, and they still answer the phone, which is positive.

5. God. I believe in a merciful God. And I think He wants me to be my own individual quirky self. He just wants me to be my best me. Thats what I'm working on.

6. Arizona. This place is freaking amazing. Moving here was the best thing I could have done. HANDS DOWN. I have grown a lot by being out on my own for real. Like really on my own. Like I have to call the tow truck myself if my car breaks down instead of just calling my dad. And no, I have not needed a tow truck.

7. Goals. I am not a good goal setter. But, I have a goal to run a half marathon on my birthday, so as much as I hate running, I go everyday because I WILL DO THIS. I will. And then I will celebrate for a long long time.

Life has been good to me of late. And it doesn't snow here!!!! Hallelujah. Amen.

Nothing

2011-09-07T00:54:00.003-06:00

I don't have the energy to post much tonight.

But, for the record, I am pretty sure I am as drama as it gets. I can't be decisive for anything right now. Warning, I reserve the right to change my mind at the drop of a hat at all times.

Some days I HATE HATE HATE being a girl. Seriously.

Allergy testing is a joke. A big fat freaking joke.

I'm kinda not in the greatest of moods today. Please disregard this post. I will try to be stable again starting tomorrow.

Oh, I don't think I talked about how last week I feel out of bed. Yep, I'm 28 and I fell out of bed. And I have a huge bruise to prove it. I have a nasty habit of sleeping on the very very edge of the bed, and it finally caught up to me. But it made me laugh really hard. So, I guess it was still worth it.

Biker Chick, Shooter Chic

2011-09-04T20:23:00.005-06:00

It was a pretty good weekend. Arizona continues to be full of adventures. I decided before I came that I would take advantage of all the opportunities that come my way. I don't want to have any regrets. I may only be here a year (who knows) and I want to experience as much as I can!

So, on Friday, I threw caution to the wind and went on an all-day bike ride. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal, I wore a helmet and biking jacket. And I looked a-maz-ing. It turns out that riding a bike all day makes for a very tired butt. I need a luxury seat for something like that. Ha! We rode to Prescott and walked around and then went and walked/hiked around a lake. It was pretty fun to explore. Prescott is so charming. It is like a little Mayberry. There are all these cute houses with big porches and very friendly people. So fun.

Then, on Saturday I went shooting. I have been shooting exactly one other time. I am not good at hitting anything, except maybe dirt. But it was still lots of fun. And I only got a little bruised. Which is better than my friend Quinlan can say. She is crazy bruised. Poor girl.

And now for a picture dump. There are lots.

This was one of the gorgeous views on our bike ride. The layers of mountains are so pretty.

The ripples in the lake that were so cool. And proof that I know enough about photography to capture ripples with detail.

At the lake.

It is amazing that you can get such forest-y areas so close to the desert I live in.

There were signs everywhere that said no swimming, but then this path goes straight into the lake. I don't understand why they would tempt me like that.

Isn't it pretty.

A view from the road.

My view for most of the day.

Proof that I am taking pictures (and texting) while riding. Turns out you don't need to hold on.

I look so amazing. I know.

Taken while driving.

The sunset was gorgeous.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Quinlan shooting. And yes, he is wearing a gas mask in the background.

Me shooting.

And for the dating update. I continue to be a dating spaz. But I am moving forward. New opportunities on the horizon for me. :)

Another day, another date

2011-08-31T13:16:00.002-06:00

I had another date last night. And another one this coming Friday. So far, Phoenix has proved itself to be a much better dating scene than Salt Lake.

I'm not used to people spending money on me. And it makes me feel really self-consious. I need to get over that.

I'm not used to someone being so interested so quickly. I'm much more used to dysfunctional Utah guys.

I'm an awkward mess. This you all knew, but it has become even more apparent to me of late.

New things, new me.

2011-08-28T11:47:00.002-06:00

One of my goals with this move was to experience new things. Well yesterday I did just that. I had several firsts.

1. I saw the Biosphere 2. It turns out most people don't even know what the Biosphere is. I remember reading about it as a kid in National Geographic. Well, I saw it. I didn't get a chance to go in because we were on our way to a cave, but it was awesome to even see from a distance. I feel so complete.

2. I went caving. And can I tell you, it is AWESOME. Muddy and sticky and wet and crazy and awesome. I even went swimming in the pool in the cave. Don't even get me started on the hazards of stagnant water. I threw caution to the wind and got in. Only 3 of us did, and it was well worth it. So fun! We went to Peppersauce Cave. Not nearly as cool as Timpanogas Cave, but it was fun to explore and wander around. And realize how weak I am. Ha.

3. I stopped at the Tom Mix Monument. Yep, I had no idea who this guy was, and why he gets an entire park and monument dedicated to him. Apparently he died in 1940 as he lost control of his car and an aluminum suitcase full of jewels hit him in the back of the head. Crazy. But it was random and fun, so there you go.

4. I had sushi. I'm not really into fish, but I want to like fish, so I just dove in. I had a couple different types of sushi, and some sashimi. Surprisingly good. Not sure what I think of the texture of sashimi. Raw fish is weird. But good overall.

5. I had rattlesnake. Who knew that scary rattlesnakes were for eating?! I have had alligator before, and rattlesnake was a similar experience. They both are quite mild, and similar to chicken. It is a bit more chewy though. Now I can cross that off the list (I didn't even know it should be on the list before last night).

6. I toured a biotech lab which was so cool. And way more amazing than the biotech lab we had in high school. But I remembered things from my class in high school, so good job public school system. I got a behind-the-scenes after hours tour of the lab where they are doing all sorts of cancer research. So cool.

Oh, and I had a date last night. It was really fun. So there you go.

Life is good. Work is stress. Things are getting better.

the cut

2011-08-19T23:34:00.005-06:00

My new hair cut. And proof that I have done laundry but haven't put it away yet.

I just got home from a date. But that is not the purpose of my post.

I got my hair cut today. I have major anxiety about getting my hair cut by anyone but Betsy Ross. She is amazing and has been cutting my hair for the last 10 years. I have had sporadic horrific experiences in the mean time where I have lost Betsy and have tried out other stylists only to have my hair severely ravaged and mangled beyond repair. Well, today I went to Megan (who's name is not nearly as cool as Betsy Ross). I looked up reviews online of people who are good at cutting curly hair in Phoenix to find her. Because, contrary to popular belief, just because you went to beauty school does not mean that you are qualified to touch my hair. I have some SERIOUS curls, that when not treated respectfully will wage an all-out war against me. And as I don't enjoy the afro look for myself, I have to be careful with what I do.

I went to Megan and told her straight-up that I was nervous about having someone new cut my hair. All I wanted was a trim and thin.

Well, I got a trim. But it is definitely more like a cut. She cut off more than I expected. I'm pretty sure I lost 3-4 inches of length. But length is a hard thing for me to measure because cutting a little reduces weight and creates tighter curls and thus much shorter hair. It is scientific and what-not.

And she didn't thin at all, just layer.

So sort of what I asked for. And then she styled it curly. Which is fine, but I have enough experience with my haircuts to know that straightening it and polishing off the cut while it is straight really produces the best results. Ah well. So far the cut seems decent enough. Although, I think it is a touch overpriced at $50. Betsy is $40 and spends more time on me. Anyway, the part where the date comes in. I told him that I might be a touch late because I was getting my hair cut. He was good about it. But, if you are looking for a really easy way to compliment a girl who told you she just got her hair cut... tell her that her hair looks nice. It is easy enough. Not a strike against him that he didn't, just a thought. I mean, you are trying to win me over, right?

...sweaty armpits are not cute. But I realize that sometimes you can't control your nerves around someone so amazing. Ha!

Hike night #1

2011-08-09T22:59:00.002-06:00

A couple friends from my ward and I went hiking tonight. Hiking here is very different than in Utah. "Mountains" is a relative term, I have come to find out. We hiked Shaw Butte tonight. I think it is about 4 miles round trip. It is pretty steep in some areas, but was really fun. We are going to try to go on a hike every week. I'm excited to explore with them.

I didn't take a camera, so I have nothing to prove that I got to the top. But the view of the city was great from up there. And I made it without feeling like I was going to die. I consider that a major win!

Observations

2011-07-18T23:08:00.003-06:00

1. DMV- the one here in AZ is horrible. I spent 3.5 hours there to get my driver's license and car registered. At least I am legal now.

2. Monsoon Season- Apparently this is "monsoon season". In AZ that means that we get dust storms and light sprinkling rain. I have been in what I considered to be monsoons while in Africa, and it was nothing like this. Everyone here makes it out to be a really big deal and really terrible. The dust storm today lasted a few hours and just made the air brown for a while. A lot of hype for nothing.

3. My GPS and I are co-dependent. I can't get anywhere on my own. And if I try to, I get lost. But, major win: I got home from the gym tonight without even turning my GPS on. It required 4 turns. Don't be too impressed.

4. I have gained weight. Not an excessive amount of weight, but I am up a bit from all the weight I have lost this last year. On the positive side, I am still 20 pounds down from my heaviest. Time to get back to business!

5. I think I have a friend. I have talked to the same person at FHE two weeks in a row. And, I think we are going to hang out tomorrow. She is my age, and seems pretty cool. Hopefully we can be friends. It is nice to talk to someone in person. It is amazing how good it feels to have conversations that don't take place over the phone!

6. Hair- a lot of people here have brown hair. I like it. Utah is so full of fake hair and fake boobs and fake everything. It is nice to see natural-ness here.

7. Libraries- why the heck do the libraries close at 5?! I wanted to get my library card, but the DMV took too long and I wasn't able to get there by 5.

8. Brave=stupid. People keep saying I am brave for moving here. I don't think that is accurate. I feel like a big baby all the time. I cry a lot. And if I don't cry, I am on the verge almost constantly. This is really hard and really lonely. I'm not brave at all.

9. I'm from Utah- this is the first time in my life that saying that phrase has not immediately elicited the response "are you mormon?" It is surprising. I have told a ton of people where I am from, and only 1 person has asked if I'm mormon. I got asked that in foreign countries, but not here. Huh.

10. Febreze- as much as I had hoped that it would solve my ash-tray apartment, it has not done anything. Adding febreze to stale smoke smell just makes a flowery stale smoke smell. I still smell disgusting everywhere I go. Another reason why I choose not to smoke.

dot dot dot

2011-07-18T00:15:00.002-06:00

I was a little late to church today. Just a couple minutes. Not a big deal. I walked in and found a seat in the back. I sat by myself, which I don't mind. Within a couple minutes the guy sitting across the aisle from me walked over and asked if I would like to come sit by him and his friend. Sure. What have I got to lose. It was all a little awkward because the meeting was already going when this happened, but oh well. His first line was his name and calling (ward missionary). The last time I met someone who introduced himself this way it was not a very good experience. But, I was hoping for the best.

We finished Sacrament meeting and I said thank you for asking me to sit there. He responded with something about how he would go with me to Sunday School but he had another class to go to. And that was the end of our interaction. And no one else talked to me. To be fair, I didn't talk to anyone else, so I have no one to blame but myself. I haven't cried since last Sunday, and was feeling a bit on the edge of a break down today, so I just tried to stay to myself so I wouldn't lose it.

I appreciate that he went out of his way to sit with me, but I feel like he only did it to check of a box for his calling. Who knows, maybe we will end up being friends at some point. I will take all the friends I can at this point!

My parents get home on Wednesday. I'm really excited about this, even though we live in different states. But at least I will be able to talk to them again.

I went to my cousin's house for dinner tonight. It was so nice to have a real conversation with someone in person. It has been a while since I have had that. Thanks Lani and Reid!

My great new work friends are probably not going to be friends that I spend a lot of time with. Our interests are very different. Different in ways that will probably prevent us from finding things we can do together very frequently. But it has been really nice to get to know some people.

This last week has been a lot better than the week before it. There are still a lot of bumps in my road, but I am dealing with them with less emotion.

Why on earth is 24 Hour Fitness not open 24 hours here?! That is totally lame.

Stream of consiousness

2011-07-10T20:50:00.004-06:00

I got into town Thursday. This has been a really rough few days. I can think of 2 other times in my life that have been this hard emotionally. The loneliness that comes with moving like this is very consuming. I have a few friends here in town, but most of the day I am essentially alone. I am sure that it will help me become a much better person, but right now it just sucks. Big time.

I can't even express how much it means to hear people's voices that I know, or to get texts from people I know and love. It is what gets me through.

I cry about every hour or so. Mostly out of loneliness and being overwhelmed. More lonely than overwhelmed. These are the times that I think about how I could go missing and no one would realize for days.

My apartment is disgusting and in the ghetto. Major ghetto. It smells so strongly inside of smoke. Today at church I realized the nasty smoke smell was me, not someone around me. Gross. So hopefully that will calm down some as I live here longer. Stale, old second hand smoke is gross.

I start work tomorrow. I am excited to be busy. I am sure I will meet a bunch of new people which should help me not feel so lonely all the time.

The checker guy at Albertson's last night talked to me for a while, and it felt so good to feel like I have a friend here. Even though I don't even know him. I find myself talking to anyone who will talk to me. And probably talking their ear off.

I don't want anyone to feel bad for me, I signed up for this. Ultimately this is what I want. It is just tough in the mean time. I am sure that it will get better as the days go by. I am really trying to enjoy this change.

Goodbye SLC, Hello PHX

2011-06-23T17:36:00.004-06:00

I am moving. I haven't really broadcasted it too widely, but now that it is really happening, I guess I will talk about it.
I have been unsettled for a year or two. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back to school or try a different job or what, so I have just stayed where I am and looked into options. Then I decided that becoming a CRNA sounded like a good idea (you know, good hours, good pay). Upon looking into it further, I quickly decided I better actually get a move on, and find a job in an ICU. Utah had really no options, there are just too many nurses here. My friend Ange moved to Phoenix a while back and she seemed to like it there, so I figured I may as well apply. I really didn't think I had any chance getting the job, but to my surprise, they hired me. And they are moving me. And the pay is better. AND IT DOESN'T SNOW.
Things have fallen into place very smoothly, which makes me think that this really is a good thing for me right now. I move down there on July 7. And my stuff will get there sometime on or before the 11th. I was hoping to get everything moved before the 7th, but too bad for me. So I guess I will be camping on my bedroom floor at my apartment for a few nights. Awesome.
I will be working in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Phoenix Children's Hospital. I'm really excited for this new challenge, and really nervous too. Hopefully I do okay.
For now I will rent out my house. If I love it down there I will probably sell my house after a while. If I hate it, I will move back to Utah after a while. I'm hoping I love it.

Did I mention that it doesn't snow. I don't care how hot it gets in the summer, as long as the winter doesn't make me want to die, I will be just fine.

Surgery

2010-12-23T12:38:00.003-07:00

Yesterday I had eye muscle surgery. I was cross-eyed, so they went in an fixed it. I came out with an eye-patch on. Arrrgh, Matey!

I tried the percocet and it made me super nauseous, so just tylenol for me.

Today I went in to have the doctor adjust the sutures in my eye. This was about as comfortable as it sounds. He clamped my eye open with a metal clamp thing and then worked away on the sutures. It wasn't too bad because he numbed everything. But I felt like crap after the numbing wore off. He gave me Tylenol 3 to see if that would help with the pain. I took some earlier, and it seems to be helping.

My eye is crazy blood red. And it feels better to sit in a dark room and keep my eyes closed. I've been listening to movies. Ha! And sleeping a lot. And hoping that the next time I wake up I will feel better. Here's hoping!

The doctor said that everything looks awesome. He said that it is the best he could hope for. Lets just hope it sticks! A decent number of people have to get it redone.

No really, this happened.

2010-09-13T00:59:00.004-06:00

Edited to add [commentary] so that you can follow this.

The following is a transcript of a text message conversation I had today. To protect the innocent I won't use real names. J, M and T are all male. I had deleted some of my sent mail prior to typing this so the beginning is a little bit summary. J and I are good friends. M is also in the ward, we are friends, but not that good of friends. T. is also in the ward and we are friends.

M: If u r bored we can do something on the parking lot john says we can borrow his van [M is asking me to come enjoy him in van outside, its one of those work vans without any windows, pretty sketchy.]

Andrea to J: I'm going to kill you. [J is typically the one telling people to text me crazy stuff]

M: I'll protect him [J and M were outside together]

Andrea to M: I'll kill you too.

M: I haven't done anything to u why?

M: I am waiting!!! I bet the only thing more comfortable than this van is u bb [M is still coming on to me...]

I then asked J if he was texting me from M's phone because I was very uncomfortable.

J: I just told him to text you. What did he say?!

I forwarded the texts from M to J.

J: That is so nice!! Take him up on his offer!

T: Why is M in a white van holding up a sign on the window with your name on it?

several hours later...

M: Hey andrea do u want to drink from the waters of M [without being around J he is still saying crazy stuff, this is bad]

Forwarded M's text to J.

J: WHAT!!!

Andrea to J: You have created a monster!

Andrea to M: You are crazy!

J: Quench your thirst!

Andrea to J: I will never be that thirsty. [this is all referring to "the waters of M"]

J: Just try a sip...

Andrea to J: One sip of poison is still enough to kill you.

J: True. I almost died at my first Poison concert.

Andrea to J: Finally you are starting to understand

J: No. If I could go back I would do it again. His waters are pure...

M: R u dehydrated

Andrea to J: Are you talking to M right now?

J: I never have outside of church... What is he doing?

Forwarded M's text to J.

J: I will now call him The Hydrator!

Andrea to J: I am not thirsty for his kind of hydration

This is not fabricated or embellished. This really is my life. And my parents wonder why I am still single.

Too long

2010-09-07T02:42:00.002-06:00

I have had a lot of requests to get back to blogging. So here goes. I think the main reason that I haven't blogged is that I don't have very many good stories to tell. Instead, I give you a list.

Update on the life of Andrea:

I still work at Primary Children's, which I enjoy.

I still get lots of hives, which I hate.

I am still single, which I am used to.

I still live alone in my condo, which I love.

I still have my cat Gigi, who puts up with me.

I no longer sleep, not so cool.

I continue to find great humor in the world around me, and share that with others.

I set off my fire alarms very easily, which may be an indication of the quality of my cooking.

I am no longer forced to plan ward activities, which brings me great joy.

I have straight hair today, which is abnormal.

I am current on all my bills, which is normal.

I text way more than I should, but so does everyone else I know.

I need to get an external hard drive, or my computer may self-destruct.

I hate spiders, but can't kill them because the crunching gives me the chills.

I had THE WORST NIGHTMARE EVER last night. No seriously. I woke up in a panic. Bad news. It was all my greatest fears combined. I'm blaming my lousy meds.

I hate taking medicine, but I hate hives more.

I haven't broken any bones this year, surprise.

I do not like dancing. At all. Not even a little bit.

Any questions?

WooHoo!

2010-03-03T00:19:00.002-07:00

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

I love birthdays. They are just the greatest.

So here's to being 27. It's going to be a great year!

Its finally over!

2010-02-08T15:43:00.002-07:00

I went to the Cardiologist today. Something I have been doing every 1-2 years since I was 12. After 14 years he has finally signed off on me. No more going back to the cardiologist unless new problems arise. Woohoo! I am heart-healthy!

Grateful

2010-01-16T00:08:00.003-07:00

Today I am especially grateful for organ donation. I have had a couple kids that I have taken care of at the hospital got much needed organs this week. What a miracle. And what a heartache at the same time. Whether live or deceased donation, it is so bittersweet. It is amazing that it works at all. I am thankful for lives that have been saved, and sorry for lives that have been lost. Thinking about it makes me cry, tears of joy and sorrow.

I really can't say more for privacy reasons, but organ donation is so wonderful!

today

2010-01-04T17:06:00.002-07:00

It is 5:06 pm and I am still in my pajamas.

I don't see a problem with this situation.

Oh and I made cookie dough earlier just so I could consume some of the dough.

It has been a good day.

Study in Color

2009-12-15T13:49:00.002-07:00

Pioneer Woman had a photo submission contest involving black and white photos. I had a lot of fun playing around with some pictures. This one was my favorite. I used to not really like black and whites, but I may be converting.

PW and me

2009-11-05T12:59:00.003-07:00

I went to the PW book signing last night. When I got there (8:15) it was extremely crowded. Everyone had already been given tickets with letters on them and they were only on F. I couldn't get there any earlier because I was busy at work saving lives, or something like that. Anyway, I talked to one of the ladies that worked at the King's English Bookstore and she recommended that without a ticket I go and get some food or something and come back in an hour.

So, I went to my parent's house and had some delightful White Bean Chicken Chili and chatted with my mom. Around 10pm I showed back up at the bookstore. The crowd outside was slightly smaller, and much to my dismay they were only at M. Hmm. That is only half way through the alphabet in 2.5 hours. Looks like it is going to be a long night. Then the only guy there came up and started talking to me. We talked about random things for a while, but most importantly he let me know the letters only went up to R. Sweet. A while later Random Guy traded his R for someone's Q. Lots of letter trading was happening. Goodbye Random Guy. Then I started chatting with a couple girls. We had all been talking earlier, but they wanted to leave me and Random Guy alone. Sorry nothing exciting to report there. I decided to nestle myself amid the Rs, even though I had no letter to speak of.

Luckily, they stopped checking letters and we made our way in. I met Stripped Shirt Girl and Token Gay Guy (self named). We all chatted and laughed our way through the winding bookstore. We read The Stick Man while in the children's section. Good book. When we got up to Missy and Ree's mother-in-law we asked if we could get a picture with them. They are super nice. We talked to Missy about Banana Republic and comfy sweaters and skiing and wonderful Ree.

Finally we could see PW. She was still unbelievably cheerful. And seemed genuinely happy to meet all of us. We talked to Ree about my upcoming marriage to Random Guy and how the two girls I had glued myself to were going to be in the marriage too. Those are the kinds of things you talk about when you have waited in line until 11:30. Oh, and most of the wait was in the November cold outside. We talked about the random box of tissues that someone had glued Marlboro Man's face to and given to Ree. Of course we got a picture. Then I said "Thanks Ree" and was on my way.

So worth the hours of wait time. And, if I do say so myself, I think I got the sweet end of the deal. I didn't show up at 3 in the afternoon and still got my book signed.

Thanks PW.

Grandpa's Funeral, in pictures

2009-10-19T17:47:00.006-06:00

I took some pictures at the viewing and funeral. I thought I would share. I still cry a lot. But he is free from his worn out body.

The last picture I have of grandpa, Aug 30, 2009. At this point he was already moved to the hospital bed in his home, instead of the recliner that he used for years.

Us 4 kids. All of us smiled, which is a feat.

The original 6 in the KC Johnson family. Most of us smiled.

3 members of the Military were there to do a salute at the cemetery.

Much like the guards for the Queen of England, they were very stoic.

The 8 pallbearers that were in town. James, Greg, Chris, Trevor, Ben, Shaun, Kyle, Brett. Eric wasn't able to come.

The casket and flag.

They held the flag above the casket while taps was played.

Not a dry eye as she played Taps. Quite sobering. Thank you for your service for our country.

They folded the flag.

And presented it to my dad, the eldest of the Johnson kids.

Marching away. I wasn't able to get a picture of them saluting my dad after they gave him the flag. I was in the wrong place.

My dad and the flag.

Before being lowered into the grave.

The flowers that made me cry. I typically mourn in silence, in that I don't like to tell people my problems. Well, I had told a couple friends, and they gave me flowers. And I cried like a baby when I saw them.

wash

2009-10-19T00:58:00.003-06:00

The other day I put 2 SD cards in my back pocket so that I would have them while I was taking pictures, in case I needed more memory. Today I washed my jeans.

Poor sad lost memory.

I love you, Grandpa

2009-10-13T17:09:00.005-06:00

The flag is at half mast. My grandpa died this morning. I guess you could say that it was expected, but that doesn't mean I miss him any less.

My grandpa was an amazing man. We were very close.

When my family lived in California my grandparents would come to visit us. They would ride Amtrak from Utah and would spend a week or two visiting. My grandpa would always walk to the elementary school to pick us up and would walk home with us. We always stopped at the grocery store on the way home where we each got to pick out a treat or toy.

When they were back home in Utah he and my grandma would send us 2 dollar bills. I remember thinking that they were the coolest things ever, and I wouldn't ever spend them because they were special, because they were from my grandparents. I still have a hard time spending 2 dollar bills.

Once or twice a year my family would drive from California to Utah to visit. My grandpa always took us to the 49th Street Galleria. We would mini golf. Every visit we did this, and I always looked forward to it. I think it was one of my favorite things to do in Utah. I think of him every time I drive by the old 49th Street Galleria.

Grandpa Ken served in WWII on a submarine. He was very proud of his service. I am patriotic because of him. I know how to properly fold a flag because of him.

He got his Silver Beaver in the Boy Scouts of America organization. He came out to California for each of my brother's courts of honor when they got their Eagles. I know a lot about scouting because of him.

I could always talk to my grandpa. In the last 10 years since my grandma died, I have spent a lot of time talking to my grandpa. Because his sight was failing, I would read to him. I don't know if he got anything out of those times, but I will always remember them.

When I was 12 my family moved back to Utah just 3 houses down the street from my Grandpa. I spent a lot of evenings with the "porch patrole," a group consisting of my grandparents and their best friends/neighbors the Becks. We would sit out there each night and just watch the evening pass. I wasn't allowed to move a lot because it would turn the porch light on via the motion detector. I spent a lot of time listening to my grandparents on that porch. After my grandma died I would sit on the porch with my grandpa.

He was always quiet. But I always knew he loved me. Even at the end when he had dementia, he always recognized me. We would have wild conversations as the dementia took his memory. He was always happy despite the confusion, which I am grateful for. I told him one day that he was looking thin and that maybe I should get on his diet (not eating), he told me to get on it. I talked to him about his "girlfriend" at the care center. He said he didn't have just one girlfriend. I told him that there was only so much dating that could be done in this world and since he had so many girlfriends I couldn't have a boyfriend. He laughed. We always laughed together.

When I was 10 I came out to Utah by myself to visit. I spent a lot of time with all of my grandparents. My grandma June made me a wonderful scrapbook, a copy for her and a copy for me. I now have both copies. At the end are the testimonies of both my grandma June and my grandpa Ken. I cherish this book. His testimony:

"Dear sweet, young Andrea Kay,

Just want to bear a special testimony to you of the Gospel in which we all believe. This Gospel has always been a very important part of my life and also important in the lives of your great grandparents, and your great, great grandparents.

I know this Gospel is true, and that God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ did appear to Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove. I know that it was through Joseph Smith that the Gospel, which had been taken from the earth following the death of the original apostles, was restored to the Earth. I know that through this restoration, we have the true authority to act in God's name here upon this earth. Further, this authority was restored to Joseph Smith by John the Baptist and then by Peter, James, and John who had recieved it from Jesus Christ while he was still upon the Earth.

I also know that we who have been baptized by this authority have the privilege (and also the responsibility) to choose for ourselves what we will do while we live here in this world. Those choices will determine what we will do after our mortal death.

Our families are so very important and we must always honor our parents and our families. Never do anything to discredit them nor the Church. The Lord promises great blessings to all of us - if we keep His commandments and always to good things.

I ask the Lord to continue His blessings upon you as you study and learn the Gospel, and pray daily to Him, being receptive to the Spirit. You are a special young girl - and we love you dearly.

Love,

Grandpa J. (signed)"

I cherish our time together. I spent a while with him last night. I just sat near him and talked to him. He didn't respond. I knew that the end was close and was glad to share more precious time with him.

For several years he has been too frail to make it to the temple, something he cherished all his life. I always wanted him at my wedding, but feared that he wouldn't be able to make it. Now he can.

I love you, Grandpa.

The summer: family edition

2009-09-08T15:02:00.006-06:00

This summer was full of fun. I have not blogged about any of it. So here goes. This is the family portion of the summer. Our family went to Thanksgiving Point and to Yellowstone. More family time than we are used to, and we are all still friends. Good news. I know the pictures are not in order, but I am not going to do anything about it.

Connor didn't want to get his hands dirty so he ate his ice cream sandwich off the table. My laughing might have been an encouragement. I am a good aunt.

Hilary braved the cold water to entertain the kids. She is better than the rest of us.

Annie playing at the lake at Yellowstone.

My dad, the photographer.

The Jr Park Rangers. Turns out that pants are not a required part of the uniform.

One of my favorite pics from the trip.

Cute Ellie and Hilary.

This picture does not do justice to the dirtiness that was Nathan.

The four kids, who refuse to all smile at the same time.

Ah, cute. These two were all about holding hands.

Chris and his boys.

Greg and Ellie.

Downward Dog by Nathan.

Liz.

It is important to get very very close to the flowers with the magnifying glass.

Again with the hand holding.

Chris and Nathan and the golf cart.

Examining the flowers.

Ellie, at Great Grandma Verla's house.

Nathan at Great Grandma Verla's house.

Gigi and Me

2009-06-22T02:34:00.000-06:00

I am a cat lady. Sort of. Me and my cat are completely content to just hang out at home. I guess that means I am a recluse. It works well for me. The trouble is, my cat gets lonely if I am not home. When I get home Gigi won't leave me alone. And she does that thing that cats do when they are trying to make their bed more comfortable and they kneed you. Except my stomach is not going to be changing shape regardless of how much she kneeds it, which means that it only serves to keep me awake when I want to be asleep. I wish that she would be cuddly when I want to be awake instead of when I am trying to sleep.

Gigi is also good at making sure I pay attention to my alarm. I am of the persuasion that hitting the snooze button is a wonderful thing. Gigi, like Pavlov's dog, has come to realize that the alarm noise is associated with me getting out of bed. And my getting out of bed is associated with the bathroom door opening. Don't ask me why she loves the bathroom so much. Her love of the bathroom is the reason I keep the door closed. It just doesn't seem sanitary for her to be drinking out of the toilet. And she likes to attack the rug, something that I don't enjoy. Needless to say Gigi, like a 2 year old, is highly interested in what is off-limits.

In other news, Gigi is having major surgery soon. She is going to be fixed and get her claws removed. I am pretty sure she is really excited about it. If she wouldn't claw my carpet then I wouldn't have to declaw her. She is probably going to be really sad to be away from me overnight. Or maybe it is me that is going to be sad to have her gone. I might be co-dependent. Maybe.

Ousted

2009-05-21T12:36:00.002-06:00

Just thought I would update you on the study. After several hours of "screening" on Tuesday I was $100 richer and still unsure of my participation in the study. On Wednesday I got a call that I have been "excluded". So, no miracle cure for me. Better luck next time.

In other news, I have decided to exercise despite the extreme discomfort. We will see how long this lasts.

say what?

2009-05-19T12:03:00.002-06:00

I am supposed to go to my doctor appointment today with hives. So I just went outside and jogged/walked (I am really out of shape) for 30 minutes or so. Did I get hives? No. But I got hives yesterday just walking to McDonalds. I don't get it. If I don't have hives for this appointment I can't get the clinical trial medication that might change my life. It could be that I am healed, lets hope. If not, I am going to be very sad next time I get hives.

Confused

2009-05-19T01:53:00.004-06:00

So I get these hives. It is kind of a bummer. I thought I understood these hives. But I am realizing more and more that I do not know about my hives. I used to think that I got hives whenever I would sweat or get hot or get stressed or ... However, now I am finding some loopholes. Today: I walked 1.5 blocks, weeded a garden for FHE for less than an hour then walked back to the church. Then I walked 1.5 blocks to McDonalds (don't judge) and at McD's got hives. Not really bad ones, but hives nonetheless. This evening I tried Jillian's workout again. (Deck of cards= 84 pushups, 84 lunges, 84 crunches, 84 reverse crunches. I can explain in more detail if you really want to know). Anyway, this is the second time I have done this workout and I have not gotten hives either time. Seriously? I don't understand. I took a bike ride last monday for 30 minutes and got crazy hives. This is all very confusing. Hmm. They look something like this when at full flare. Sorry for the ugly leg shots.

Good and Bad News

2009-03-12T01:32:00.004-06:00

The Good News: I just filed my taxes for only $45.

The Bad News: I can't e-file because of my sick leave pay.

The Good News: I get lots of money back (thank you for buying a house this year)

The Bad News: I bought my house on March 28, which was 12 days before the April 9 cutoff to get the $7000 tax credit for buying a home in 2008.

The Good News: The $7000 tax credit would have actually just been a loan, so now I don't have to worry about keeping that much in a bank account to pay back within 15 years.

The Bad News: My tax refund is already allocated to a new (to me) car and new carpet.

The Good News: I will be able to get to and from work without worrying that my car is going to fall apart at any second. The only thing holding it together: faith and paying tithing..

Oh and more good news: I am going to California with my parents in a week, and I am going to Indiana with my mom in 5 weeks! And I can expect my tax return in 5-7 weeks. Woot!

Playland

2009-01-28T14:45:00.005-07:00

My brother and s-i-l came to visit earlier this month. I have been very slow about taking the pictures off my camera, but finally did last night. Here are some of the fun ones I found. We went to Del Taco one afternoon for lunch and so Connor could play in the Play Land. I was convinced by the 2 year old to play in the play land too. It turns out it was a bad idea. I broke my toe. And then re-broke it a week later, and again a week after that. It is healing really well.

Coming out of the slide.

Pre broken toe. I am still smiling in this one.

He has very blue eyes, I love it!

Cute Nathan

Nathan and daddy.

I love his chubbiness!

Connor was not terribly interested in pictures, he was interested in convincing me to go down the slide again.

Case in point: do not share drinks with toddlers. Big old spit string commin off that straw.

Neither of the boys really wanted to participate in this picture.

He must be looking at his mom.

This is what happens when you tell Connor it is time to go home.

The good news is, Liz is still smiling.

And one of my cat. Isn't she cute. (people have been asking for pics of her).

Now I need to go take some pictures of my nieces one of these days. To prove that they are just as cute as the boys.

2009

2009-01-11T01:27:00.006-07:00

I rarely make new year's resolutions. It just seems like a good way to be disappointed in myself. I know that is silly, and goals are really important and all. I set goals, they just don't coincide with a specific day of the year. Two years ago I made a New Year's resolution to make my bed everyday. I did really well for about a month. Go me. This year my resolution is to have no ER visits, and to have overall good health. Anyone who has spent much time with me knows that 2008 was not a great year- in terms of health. Otherwise the year was just fine. Sadly, I broke/sprained/badly bruised my toe on Monday. So much for this year. I have been limping ever since. It is getting better. I learned my lesson. When the sign at the playland at Del Taco says that you shouldn't get in if you are over 4 feet tall, you really shouldn't get in. And if you do, you shouldn't take your shoes off. It is just not a good idea.

2008 in review:

January
- lost at High School Musical DVD board game.

February
- voted, and was judged for it.
- Got an intestinal bug and decided I would rather have the bug than the cure.
- Spent a very large amount of money on a new computer and new camera. I love them both.

March
- turned 1/4 century old.
- bought a condo. And proceed to spend several weeks painting the condo.

April
- was mistaken for a minor (as in 14 or younger).
- saw Wicked for the second time while visiting my brother and sister-in-law and nephew.
- began getting hives at random times. Later in the year I am diagnosed with Cholinergic Urticaria. Not cool.
- have my first payed photography gig. I am not a professional.

May- moved into my condo.

June
- attempted to swallow a pill that then lodged in my throat for 8 hours requiring an emergency endoscopy. Subsequent diagnosis: eosinophilic esophagitis. Basically, if I don't take medication for the rest of my life my throat will close off and I will have to be on an all formula diet. No thank you.

July
- reconnected with my old roommates.
- went country dancing, for about 15 minutes. Promply dislocated/broke my leg. Took 5 weeks off work for recovery.

August
-went back to work.

September
- learned a very important lesson while cutting jalepenos.

October
- I don't remember what happened, which is a good sign.

November
- Went to South Bend, Chicago and Detroit.
- Got a cat. Her name is Gigi, and I love her.

December
- Decided that I am done with hospital visits for the next year.

I really can't complain (although I often do). I have a good life. I have great family and friends and love where I am at in life right now.

thoughts on sleep

2008-12-22T00:21:00.002-07:00

There are a lot of things to be self conscious about. I have decided that the things I do when I am asleep should not be on that list. I am sorry to say, I cannot control what I do when I sleep. If you can, please share your secrets.

1- When I went to the dentist last the nice dental hygienist told me that I have a lot of saliva. She said that it was a good thing except when you are at the dentist and they have to suction you excessively to keep you from drooling all over yourself. Needless to say, I am a sleep drooler. I can't help it. I try to fall asleep with my mouth closed, and from then on it is anybody's guess as to how much I am going to drool. There is nothing I can do about this. Or maybe there is. I could set up some sort of suction device that would constantly suction the drool out of my mouth at night. But lets be honest, that seems like a little silly.

2- I know that I snore when I am congested. I can't help it. Breathing is more important than being quiet while I sleep. Sorry. If I learned nothing else in nursing school it is the importance of the ABCs: Airway, Breathing, Circulation. I am just trying to take care of the things that are important. I have no idea if I snore when I am not sick. I have not recorded myself. I may snore. And, I don't really care, to be completely honest. Is that bad? I have plenty of other things to worry about, like being healthy and getting to work on time, and taking care of my cat, and cleaning my house, and praying for my car to work everyday.

The reason I bring all of this up is that I was invited to go over to a friend's house last night to watch a movie with a bunch of people. I ended up deciding not to go. The major factor in this decision was the fact that I had slept approximately 4 of the previous 36 hours. Anyone who knows me well knows that a tired Andrea is not happy Andrea. Anyway, I opted out of going because I knew I would fall asleep almost immediately and then I would have to wake up and drive myself home in a state of delirium. This seemed like a bad idea. The other drivers on the road can thank me for my decision. However, it also crossed my mind that if I fell asleep I may drool or, heaven forbid, make some sort of noise that I was not aware of. And then people may laugh. Or judge. Or think that I am some sort of crazy person because I cannot control myself when I sleep. Pull it together woman. And for the record, I fully admit that I am crazy. And I firmly believe that we all are.

Because of all of this, I have decided that I am no longer going to be self conscious about what I do when I am asleep. I think I can do this. My brother decided not to be ticklish anymore when he was younger, and that worked. So here goes.

sleep

2008-12-21T10:37:00.002-07:00

I worked Friday night. Normally after a night shift I sleep for a very very long time. Not so on Saturday. I helped move my brother and sister-in-law into their new house. I lasted until about 12:30 (when I sat down and passed out). By the time I got home it was after 1pm. So I slept until 4, when I randomly woke up. That is odd for me because I normally can sleep forever. Or close to it. Then I went to our ward Christmas party, then conned a friend into going grocery shopping with me after so that I wouldn't kill myself driving in my sleep deprived state. Be the time I got home, I was wide awake. Rude. I fell asleep at 12 something. And slept horribly all night. I woke up every hour or two. Rude. Then was wide awake at 4 and 7 and 9. Not my style. At 9 I finally got up. It is just crazy because I was super super tired at the party last night, which meant I was a little silly. Maybe a lot silly. I probably have a lot to be embarrassed about. Oh well. At least I had fun, right.

I have a feeling I am going to be very tired today. But for now I am alive awake alert enthusiastic!

Meet Gigi

2008-12-09T14:49:00.005-07:00

After all the polls and everything, I have decided on a name. And it is not one that was in the poll- sorry. This is Gigi. I like that it is silly and fun, and something I would never name my child. And in response to the many aghast responses that I have received from people when they find out that I have had a kitten for almost 3 weeks without giving her a name, I say, I haven't done too bad considering that people get 9 months to come up with a name and I took about 2 1/2 weeks. Thank you. And in case you want to see more pictures of her, here you go. I know, it's not like I have a kid, but she is the one I communicate most with during my time at home. If that isn't a sad commentary on my life, I don't know what is.

She likes to sit in my lap, but doesn't like it when I do anything else but pay attention to her.

Her new favorite hiding place, in a box of Christmas lights my dad gave me.

He would be so proud.

I like this one because it looks like her head is half missing.

This is what happens when I get home from work and someone has poop all over her feet.

In case you are wondering, that is her nubbin of a leg.

This is the face she gives me when she wants to eat more kitty treats.

And tomorrow I plan to post about my trip to temple square last night. Wait for it.

Poll

2008-11-22T03:00:00.001-07:00

I just added a poll for what you think I should name my cat (for those who check my blog via reader). I put a sampling of the names that people suggested. I don't promise to choose what the number one choice is, but it will help me decide.

a new addition

2008-11-20T13:33:00.003-07:00

Yesterday I was looking in the classifieds for a cat. And I found one that I really wanted. It was female and 3 months old and was missing one of its feet. And then I called the lady and she had already promised it to someone else. Shoot. I don't know why, but this cat really seemed like the perfect cat for me. Luckily, the lady called me back later and told me that things changed, and I could have her if I wanted. Sweet!

So I got a cat. And she is so cute. She is grey and white and very clingy (at least right now), and she is quite skittish (at least right now). I am not sure what I want to name her. I have thought of a couple names, but I just can't narrow it down. Any ideas?

You can see her little nubbin of a leg in this one.

She wouldn't hold still unless I was touching her. I told you she was clingy.

Again, I am still holding on to her. Oh, and she likes to sleep right up in my face.

This would have been really cute if she would have held still, but then she walked up to me and got all out of focus.

So, tell me your ideas for names, and then we will have a poll from the ones I like the best.

Isn't she cute.

enough already.

2008-11-01T23:15:00.004-06:00

This is just to say that I am done dating.

I am considering getting a cat.

I just thought you should know.

Just not in the mood

2008-10-28T11:06:00.002-06:00

I keep thinking about posting something. There are two problems. I am not in the mood. And now that blogging is so popular it is not as fun for me. I guess the popular/cult things are just not very appealing to me sometimes.

I will post later. Perhaps when I get back from my trip. I really can't wait. A break is just what I need these days. A break from reality.

So, I will see you when I emerge from my hole.

More Pictures

2008-10-14T13:48:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I went downtown and took some pictures with my roommate. I also took some of these over conference weekend. Let me know what you think.

This one just says autumn to me. The colors and changing leaves make me happy.

This one and the next one were taken during the rain that came so constantly during conference. And, I used my dad's lens, so I didn't have to get my camera wet. I was able to stand a lot farther from the leaves than with my lens.

This was at Gallivan Center downtown. I couldn't believe with the freeze we had a couple nights ago that this flower survived. But I am glad it did. Isn't it pretty.

Anybody know what type of flower this is? I want some at my house.

Remove the building from the background, and this picture would be near perfect.

eeeeeeeaaaiiiii

2008-09-30T19:42:00.003-06:00

I just cut up a jalapeno. And now my hands are burning. And I made the mistake of touching my right eye, so it is burning too. I am afraid to look in the mirror in case I look like Quasimodo. I feel like I am on fire. Make it stop. Please.

Oh, and yesterday at physical therapy we did some new stuff. So I can't walk because my leg and butt on my left side only are very very sore. Crazy sore. I am going to have one very buff leg.

Yesterday I actually made the comment "If it is good enough for Emeril, it is good enough for me." And I don't really like Emeril. I should have gone with Bobby Flay.

Getting out

2008-09-25T15:49:00.002-06:00

I like to make spur-of-the-moment decisions. Especially when the world around me is spinning. Best way to deal with the drama- flee the state.

So, I am going to South Bend, Indiana. What is in South Bend, you may wonder. My Brother and Sister (in-law) and nephews. I can't wait. It is going to be the best. And I will get to shop in Chicago. Which is the best. I need new clothes and nothing here satisfies my need. So, I found some cheap tickets, and if necessary will call in sick during the days I am gone. That is how much I need to get out. What can I say.

My sophomore year I did this sort of thing with a friend. In that case we flew to California on a whim. And the last time I went to South Bend it was this sort of trip as well. And when I went to Mexico (sort of).

Now I just have to wait just under 6 weeks to get a really awesome break.

Maybe when I return all of my problems will have just up and disappeared. Wouldn't that be awesome. I guess I shouldn't say problems. Drama is the right word. Drama drama.

#1 and #2 looking slightly better

2008-09-20T17:47:00.004-06:00

Here is after approximately 3 seconds of editing. Blogger doesn't exactly make these photos look great or anything. And your screen will make them look different than mine too. And now for the vote.

#1:

Or #2:

Or neither? Or both? What do you think? I really want to know. Should I stop taking pictures of flowers and move onto something more exciting? Should I get a macro lens so these photos really look great?

Photo Shoot

2008-09-20T16:11:00.006-06:00

These are all pictures that I took around the Jordan River Temple on Wednesday. They are all SOOC (straight out of the camera). What do you think?

I don't know why, but this one (and several others) looks like one of those black and white photos with color added. I promise it is not.

Don't you just love the curled petal.

Not my favorite composition, but a cute bud.

These flowers were so vibrant.

Now these next two are very similar. I was experimenting with shooting the back of a flower with the sun coming through making the flower a little transparent. Which do you prefer? #1:

or #2:

This one looks much better in full size.

The colors here are kinda fun.

Playing around with depth.

Obviously, I am no expert. But it is fun for me.

phone calls and BFFs

2008-09-16T22:46:00.003-06:00

This guy started talking to me on TRAX. This is not uncommon. He was kinda crazy. This is not uncommon. Our conversation started based on the fact that I was wearing scrubs. This is not uncommon.

So anyway, here we are talking about nothing and then he asks if he can use my phone. This is a difficult thing for me on several levels. First, he may steal it. Second, he may call some crazy 900 number and rack up my bill. Third (and most importantly), he will get his germs on my phone. And who knows where he has been. I must have given him a look, because then he asked if I would make a call for him. Hmm. He wanted me to call his mom. This guy was probably in his 40s, and I was calling his mom. I said okay. Because I am a gluten for punishment like that. So anyway, I am calling his mom and he is telling me to tell her who I am and stuff. Like me and his mom are going to be BFFs. So I start talking to his mom and telling her that her son, Ernie, would like to be picked up at the TRAX station in 20 minutes (and would it be all right if he went out and played with Billy later on... or that is where it felt like it was going). Then his mom gets all upset like, why am I always having to take care of my 40-something son. And here I am sitting there taking all her stress in like we are BFFs. But we are not. So then I say, okay well have a nice night. And she hangs up. On me. Seriously, I am just an innocent bystander. Last time I make a call for a random person.

And last time I give a kid a dollar so he can buy some drugs. Oh wait that was a different story.

Brainwashing

2008-09-14T23:30:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite things to do with my nieces and nephews is to brainwash them. While my nephew was in town for the summer I taught him something very important, the answer to the question "who is your favorite". His answer: "Andrea", which actually sounded a lot like uh-die. Which is exactly how he says "all done", but that is a subject for another day. The important part is that he was clearly trained that I was his favorite. Understanding what "favorite" means is a lesson for another day.

Today I taught my niece to say "no, I am a crazy chicken". Although not quite as beneficial for me, this was still very useful. It was hilarious every time she said it. I would say "no, I am a crazy chicken" and she would very ardently state "no, I am a crazy chicken." Classic.

And this is why God gave us nieces and nephews. At least one of the reasons. And the fact that they are more fun that other kids. As soon as the two babies get old enough I will start brain washing them as well.

Self Discovery

2008-09-12T23:50:00.002-06:00

Sometimes it is easier to live life on the surface. You know, when you don't want to really delve inside yourself and discover who you are, where you are, and where you want to be. Today was one of the days when I was not on the surface. I was very much in the deep end.

I had a great day at work. I took care of the same girl yesterday and today. She was a doll. And the family was great! It was so fun. I was actually really sad to see them go. Happy that they went home, but sad at the same time. Bitter sweet. I enjoy that. It is good to make connections with people. I have found that some very valuable connections are made when one is vulnerable. It is so important to be kind to people. Sometimes you have no idea how vulnerable they may be feeling. I am writing of much more than my experiences today. Just in general, kindness matters.

It is easy to talk all the time and yet say nothing at all. And it is a waste of time. The last week or so I have tried to talk to people who have been busy, which is the way life is sometimes. And I have talked a lot to people in conversations where nothing of significance is said. I have realized yet again that it is important to have connections with people. Deep and real connections. Everyone needs someone. In the Ensign last month there were lots of articles about single adults. One talked about how it is important for single people to have someone to talk to every day. It is so true. That support means everything. And yet it means nothing if it is not sincere. However, I am reminded yet again that I always have the Lord. I can talk to Him every day and have that connection.

It is better to love openly. My current roommate is so open about saying "I love you," something I have never been very good at. I learned how important saying "I love you" is from my roommate freshman year. She probably doesn't even realize that she taught me this. Thank you, Shanna. I am not good about talking about my feelings when it really counts. I am not good at opening my heart, yet I have such a vulnerable heart. Tonight I opened my heart and it really hurt, but it is okay. Sometimes the pain is good.

Friendships are so important to me. I am not very good at keeping in touch with people. Part of that has to do with the fact that I don't like getting hurt. I don't open myself to deep relationships for fear that it may lead to deep pain. But I realized (yet again) this week that all the pain is part of the joy. My friends are so important to me. I am not very good at expressing this. I am not very good at being there. I am not very good at supporting people no matter what. But, when it comes down to it, I am a fierce defender of my friends. And it hurts me so much when people say hurtful things about my friends. I will continue to defend my friends, and to feel that those who care about me should care enough to care about my friends. And vise versa.

I am sorry to wax on like this. Sometimes we all need a little self-reflection. And today was one of those days for me. I am trying to become a better person, and I appreciate that you will stick with me through my bad days.

Eosinophilic Esophagitis and why it is not fun

2008-09-10T10:03:00.003-06:00

I was just realizing yesterday that I am not sure if I could tolerate a mental illness, but physical problems I can handle. I guess that is why I have been blessed with so many physical trials. It is okay, I am a better person because of these things.

I was recently diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitis. Exactly. It is about as confusing and obscure as it sounds. I finally got into the allergist that knows what he is doing (and is a world expert, if anyone can be called an expert, on EE). Unfortunately he is not covered by my insurance, so I had the opportunity of experiencing self-pay. Almost $400 later...

Anyway, what this means for me is that my esophagus is inflamed severely, meaning that it is now much too small. It is fun. I chew a lot. A lot a lot. I have to take a bunch of meds that they hope will help, but they don't know if they will. Any by "take meds" I mean that I have to either chew the pills or get the meds as syrups so that they don't get stuck in my throat. And they did a bunch of skin allergen testing. Luckily (or unluckily depending on your view) I did not react significantly to anything. Soy sort of reacted, but only sort of. So for now, no change in my diet. Although an elemental diet has not been ruled out for future treatment. Think how much easier it would be to be able to drink all of my food. That sounds really nice.

So, no real answers on that front. The amusing thing is that I will probably start being treated at Primary Children's because my doctor is going to start there and my insurance will cover my treatment there. He suggested we just pretend I am a teenager. Shouldn't be too hard.

In other news, he said I have cholinergic urticaria. What that means is that I get hives a lot. It is not fun. I am going to have to take medicine for this. And, since I can't swallow much of anything, I get to take the medicine as a liquid. Sweet. Hopefully this will make it so that I can start going to the gym again without getting so itchy.

As always, I am just keeping it real. At least it is nothing that is going to kill me or shorten my life. I may sound discouraged, but I am not. It is going to be okay. Everything always works out. I have faith and hope. And until then I chew very thoroughly. It is a good weight loss plan.

Milestones

2008-09-02T21:48:00.003-06:00

I have to take everything I can as a milestone these days. I guess it is a good way to remember all the blessings I have. Here are some of my recent accomplishments:

I worked a 6 hour half shift on Friday day
I worked a 12 hour shift on Sunday night
I cleaned my tub today (very difficult to do if you can not kneel)
I actually got things knocked of my list of physical therapy exercises
I made a serious real meal today, and it tasted great
I impressed the physical therapists with my flexibility and range of motion
I made it home safely last night (I have to park at the church next door and then walk home alone in the dark)
I have chilled out on talking on my phone, and thus have not caused us to go over our minutes. Yay for more minutes starting at the end of this week.
I have not turned on my heater yet even though it is freezing. Instead I just wear thermals to bed.
I have been given the go-ahead to slowly start back into my normal activities.

It is a good life.

Victory!

2008-08-26T17:49:00.002-06:00

It was a fabulous day. I went to physical therapy this morning and was so excited because my knee has been doing so well this last week. It is as if this last week was the turning point. I am still a ways from 100%, but I am doing so much better. It is great. So I really pushed myself at PT and everyone was impressed. Yeah. And then I went to see my doctor. He was very pleased with my progress. So much so that I don't have to come back unless I have concerns. He did reiterate to me that 2/3 of people recover with PT, whereas the other 1/3 continue to have problems or dislocate again and require surgery of some sort. Here is hoping that I am in the majority. He even said I can start getting back into normal activities, as tolerated of course. And I can go back to work (part time to start). I am so glad that things have turned for the better. And he said I don't really need to wear my brace unless I am in a situation that is high risk for my knee. Good bye brace! I haven't really been wearing it anyway, it is just that now I have the doctor's approval. After almost 5 weeks I am back. And it feels good. I still have 2-3 months before I am back to where I started, but at least I am closer. Much much closer.

Movie Review: Mummy 3

2008-08-23T14:20:00.003-06:00

I saw this last night. Not my favorite. The first 45 minutes were essentially an introduction. Too much intro for my taste. And, it was rather predictable. The good news, they did not take themselves too seriously, since it was rather cheesy. I did laugh a few times, mostly in moments that were not intended to be comedic. And the previews were good. I kinda want to see the new movie with Vin Diesel now. And Rent is coming to theaters only in September. Wait a second, didn't Rent come out a few years ago. Yes. Yes it did. The difference, this time it is an actual broadway recording and has an appearance by the original cast. Hmm. And then there is Disaster Movie. Reminiscent of Scary Movie, don't you think. Apparently they have also made Date Movie and Epic Movie. Although I haven't seen any of these, and don't intend on seeing Disaster Movie, I do remember laughing more during the preview for Disaster Movie than all of The Mummy.

Not a great reflection on the movie if the previews have a more lasting impression than the feature presentation.

2 stars.

Speed walking to the max

2008-08-21T11:53:00.007-06:00

I have become somewhat of an olympic nut. This is mostly due to the fact that I am currently a cripple and have nothing better to do with my time that watch 24 hours a day of olympics. So what to my wondering eyes did appear last night? Olympic Walking. Yes, you read that right. My dad called me to tell me to look at channel 23 for some great entertainment. It was quickly decided that this would be my new calling. It is kindof sad, see everyone is racing but not really going as fast as they could. It almost hurts to watch them want to catch up, but not able to because they aren't allowed to run. Just a quick jog would take them to the front of the pack. I am not even asking for a sprint, just a quick jog.

Basics of the race:

- 20km (excessively too long)

- you must only walk

- it is all in the hips

- apparently this is another sport in which you only wear your underwear. It seems that with such a long race that you would want something that would prevent possible chafing.

- at the end you fall over. (I kid you not, pretty much everyone did this).

- it is very anticlimactic since it takes several kilometers to actually catch up with someone. No surprise endings here.

I remember speed walking with my roommate our freshman year. We walked to the library. It was awesome.

Next sport to watch: Trampoline.

Generalized state of my life.

2008-08-11T22:53:00.004-06:00

I guess I should update on the knee saga. I started physical therapy last week. I did not cry when I hurt myself or during any of those days that things hurt so bad right at the beginning. I did, however, cry during PT. I think the difference is that it was self-imposed pain. I have to do about 45 minutes of PT twice each day. It hurts and makes my knee swell. I am not sure if it is productive or not. I think I am getting some strength back. I have walked up stairs a couple times normally (while holding tight to the handrail and experiencing some pain). Down stairs is a completely different story.

After PT last week I went over to get my new patellar brace. The PA came in to look at my knee briefly to determine if the swelling is down enough for the new brace. No, it is not. I did get scolded for not wearing my immobilizer. I don't like it. It slides down and rests on my knee cap which happens to be painful. He said that unless I am on very familiar ground I should be wearing my immobilizer. I sometimes follow his advice. I just don't like it. I try to be very careful. The swelling seems to be down a little, I am hoping to be able to get my new brace sometime this week. Here's hoping.

The bruising is down quite a bit. I don't look nearly as yucky.

I wore heels to church yesterday. That was probably a bad idea, but they looked cute with my outfit. I think I will stick with flats for a while longer. In good news, I have become friends with all sorts of new people because everyone wants to talk about my leg. They may be using me for my entertainment value. We will have to see.

In other news, one of my best friends got married this weekend, and it was absolutely wonderful. I went up to Idaho for the wedding. I caught the bouquet. I think this is number three. Third time's a charm, right?

Happy happy day

2008-08-01T23:17:00.003-06:00

I went to the doctor today and it was all good news. I don't have to have surgery, unless I injure it again (more than once a decade). Also, I am going to start physical therapy next week to get my strength back. In the mean time I am clear to move it as much as I can tolerate. I just watched most of a movie with it bent 90 degrees! And, next monday or wednesday (depending on how fast the swelling goes away) I will get a special patellar brace that will hold my knee cap in place. And it will allow me to bend my knee and walk and everything. Yeah! I still have a while to go to get my strength back since I stretched/tore a bunch of ligaments. The pain is getting much less, which is wonderful. And the swelling is down enough that you can actually tell that I have a knee cap in there somewhere.

It was a good day.

the good, the bad, and the ugly

2008-07-31T19:04:00.006-06:00

This post is not for the faint of heart. If you are not ready to see some real brusing, I would consider closing your browser window now. I promise, all I show is my ugly leg covered with brusing. Nothing else gross.

The Good:

-I go to the orthopedic in the morning.

-I got more drugs for the pain. This time it is a higher dose that I can take more frequently. Thank you PCP.

-Rollover minutes on the cell phone

-I can walk with one crutch around the house.

-The swelling has decreased slightly, as you can see in the last picture (which I contribute to my finally resting my knee consistently)

The Bad:

-I am growing very bored of sitting around doing absolutely nothing all day.

-I have used way way way too many minutes on my cell phone.

-The bruising is looking worse each day still.

-When my PCP walked into the room, both he and his med student said "wow" when they saw my leg. Never a good sign.

-My PCP thinks I am most likely getting surgery.

The Ugly:

more and more and more

2008-07-27T20:46:00.005-06:00

Hard to see, but the bruising now extends to the outer side of my knee.

The bruising from above.

Closer up of the bruising. Getting more and more colorful. And it is now extends to mid calf and to both sides of the knee.

Evidence that today I bent my knee. I am pretty sure that tomorrow (or later tonight) I am going to seriously regret this.

Colors of the rainbow

2008-07-26T19:10:00.004-06:00

This is my knee today. The bruising is getting more colorful, which is kind of pretty...right?

ER

2008-07-25T09:36:00.004-06:00

I do not like dancing. This is something that I have not enjoyed doing, well, pretty much ever. Last night I decided to step out of my comfort zone and go country dancing with some friends. I was just going to have a good attitude and be a good sport. I drove downtown, payed $4 and started dancing. At the beginning they have a lesson to benefit all of the people like myself that do not regularly (or ever) country dance. Maybe 15 or 20 minutes into the lesson I injured myself. I am not sure what move we were doing, but it involved a drop, twist and pull back up. The guy I was dancing with, who I had never met before, kept saying that I needed to drop lower. Well I finally did and then I twisted, like you are supposed to and somehow in all of that I dislocated my knee cap. It is officially called Patellar Subluxation. Essentially it means that my knee cap went to the lateral side of my knee instead of staying on the top. I have done this once before about 8 years ago. As soon as it happened I was pretty sure what had happened. I felt my knee and realized that may patella was not in place. Knowing what to do to put it back in place, I straightened my knee. The dislocation and relocation hurts like CRAZY. Like you can't breath and you shake kind of hurt. I sat on the floor unable to move, holding my knee. My dance partner (don't even know his name) just kinda huddled next to me and had no idea what to do. The instructor kept going with the lesson. Good going. Luckily one of my friends came over to see what was going on. He asked if I was okay, to which I responded "no". At that point he yelled for help and I was carried to the side of the room to a couch. I knew I needed to go to the emergency room, so as soon as the pain decreased slightly, enough to move, my friend drove me to the hospital.

What this means:

1. I am now in an immobilizing brace- mid calf to mid thigh.

2. My knee is swollen like crazy. It is the size of a grape fruit or maybe a bit larger.

3. I am taking narcotics to try to stay on top of the pain.

4. To add illness to injury, since I can't swallow pills I am taking liquid lortab- sick!

5. I am on crutches.

6. I won't be able to work for a couple weeks, at least.

7. I am not sure if I am going to still be able to go to europe this fall because I will be using a huge chunk of time off for this. I think this is what hurts the most.

8. I have given up country dancing forever.

After not sleeping much last night I got up and thought I would watch a movie. Unfortunately the DVD player is on the bottom shelf, almost at the floor and I am quite sure that I won't be able to get to it. So I laid on the couch all morning watching the nothingness that is on in the morning. Good times. If anyone has some extra time and wants to come put a movie in for me, that would be great :)

Oh and we are taking family pictures today. That ought to be fun. And I will look very nice with my big brace on.

Some pictures to curb your curiosity. They really don't do justice to the swelling. And today my knee is bruised.

Not About Birds

2008-07-14T18:46:00.003-06:00

Sometime in my teenage years, I think around 12 or 13, my mom gave me a book. Actually she gave me two books, but I had completely forgotten about the one until I was organizing my books today. The other book has never left my memory. The title: Not About Birds.

I have never read this book. To be honest when I picked it up many years ago I am pretty sure I threw up in my mouth a little. As I recall I got home and the books were on my bed. We don't talk about things like this in my family. Apparently, however, we do give each other books. My mom is big into books. So today I picked it up and started reading. What are all the wonderful gems that I have been missing my whole life? What was puberty all about, anyway? Now all of my questions are being answered! Thank goodness.

To be honest, I can't actually get through an entire paragraph in this book without almost throwing up while simultaneously laughing out loud. Not many books make me laugh out loud. Good job Glen C. Griffen, M.D. and Mary Ella Griffin, R.N. Well done with the book.

I am planning on sharing some gems with all of you.

For today we will start with the chapter titles:

1. Girls

2. Boys

3. How the Sperm Gets There

4. How a Baby Is Born

5. Masturbation

6. D-E-F-E-N-S-E

7. What If...

8. "It Is Easier to Remember..."

9. Parents

10. Friends

11. Is It Really Love?

Oh boy, this is going to be fun. Did I mention that the authors are LDS and that the book was published in 1980 by Deseret Book? Get ready, this blog is going to become very educational, or something.

Housewarming!

2008-07-11T00:57:00.003-06:00

I am having a housewarming.

Saturday July 19.

Starts at 6 pm (1800).

All are invited.

If you want to come shoot me a comment or a phone call or email or something. Just not a text message since I won't get it.

In an effort to not expose myself too much to the blog world, I am not disclosing any more info on the internet than what is above.

Please come.

Lunch with the Roommies

2008-07-01T12:12:00.003-06:00

Last week my old roommate Christine came into town. To celebrate, we got the old gang together. It was so good to see Elisa, Lori and Christine (and Chris and Stacey). We went to lunch and just caught up with each other. In looking back on all my time together I would have to say that the four of us was the best set of roommates I had while at college. I loved all of my roommates, but the four of us clicked in a way that was so great. What a good 8 months!

Now 2 of us are married and there are 3 kids amongst the married ones. My how things change. I guess I should get on the ball!

Better today than a year ago

2008-06-22T00:50:00.006-06:00

There is something about the Johnsons, or to be more accurate the Ashworths. See when we gain weight our faces expand exponentially. It is really quite sad. I know a lot of overweight people who maintain nice faces. I also know a lot of Ashworths that have huge faces anytime they gain weight. I could name names, but I will spare you. I could post pictures, but that just wouldn't be nice.

I have lost a decent amount of weight since I finished college, and probably most of it was this calendar year. I may not be exactly where I should be, but I am doing better than previously. I have hit a snag lately because I can't go to the gym. It is not fun. It is a long story and involves some very unfortunate responses to sweating in which I actually think my body has developed an allergy to itself. Luckily, I think I may be coming closer to an answer to the problem, thus a return to frequenting the gym. Yeah!

However, looking back at pictures from graduation and from now, I look amazingly different. Someone should have staged an intervention back in 2007. Things got bad.

I think this was about March of 2007, the arm size is killer, and the face is expanding.

Moving on to graduation, April 2007. It is no wonder that I never felt like I could never find sunglasses that fit without bumping annoyingly against my cheeks. I think my face is about to pop. It is amazing I can even open my eyes.

And this is from saturday night. Not my all time best, but boy is it better than it was. I think the straight hair makes me look thinner. If it wasn't so time consuming, I would do my hair straight more often. Too bad for being lazy. At least I actually have a neck now. And the double chin situation has improved greatly.

Update: just got back from the gym and it was not as bad as it has been. Hopefully this is going to be a trend and not a fluke. Lets hope for the best.

Hair chop

2008-06-22T00:14:00.004-06:00

I got my hair cut today. I was planning on growing my hair out and only cutting an inch or less off. Then I got the haircut thrills. This happens almost every time I get my hair cut. Turns out there are a few things in which I have no self control: the snooze button, eating strawberries even though I think I am allergic (more on that later), growing my hair out...

So Betsy (my stylist) convinced me to cut a little more off since it is summer time and my hair is so darn thick. And let me tell you, it took very little convincing. She said she would leave it long enough for a pony tail. I am not sure that is what actually happened. However, so far I really like the cut. It is sort of an A-line. This cut is supposed to look good curly too (since that is my every-day hair). However, my chubby face and curly curly short hair tends to equate to a very convincing Shirley Temple look. Thats cool. I mean people already think I am a teenager, so I might as well make an effort to look young, right. Meanwhile, I will do the straight thing for approximately 1-2 more days, depending on how it looks without being washed when I wake up tomorrow and Monday.

In other good news, Betsy said that she thinks I am prettier than I used to be. I am choosing to take it as a complement, and not think about what it means about my previous appearance. By the way I am not wearing makeup in the following pics. So much for pretty.

Lets start with the front:

And now we will move to the side:

And finish with the back:

What do you think? Pictures courtesy of my Mac. I need to actually decorate at some point.

I don't like being pressured by your sales pitch

2008-06-14T00:37:00.004-06:00

Today I went to one of those time-share sales pitches. I hate these sorts of things, but I went as a favor for a friend. You are welcome.

So it went something like this: First we met in a big group and got a quick introduction from a guy who really thought he was funny. And who was really impressed that I travel so much (p.s. I don't travel THAT much). He kept saying "everyone except her..." and pointing to me, because I was already a traveler. Good start.

Then we went back to sit and talk with a salesman one-on-one. This is where the fun really started. Things were going okay (I am being very generous here), until he started laughing at me. He kept asking how much I pay for hotels. I kept saying that I never stay in hotels. This was unheard of to him, how could I travel so much and not stay in hotels? Apparently it was not acceptable to him that I stay with friends and family. And weird to him that I have friends and family in so many places. Here is part of our conversation:

Him: "You are going into debt for your hotels"

Me: "I don't stay in hotels"

Him: "But paying for hotels that you do not own is like going into debt"

Me: "I don't think you understand the concept of 'debt'"

Him: "Yes I do, you are paying money for something you do not own"

Me: "No, debt is when you spend more than you earn. It is a very simple concept. I do not spend more than I earn, therefore I am not in debt (except for my condo, but that is a different category)"

Him: "...."

As we went on I just got more sassy and more fired up. Eventually he said "Now, you are a smart girl, so..." at which point I cut him off and responded "Yes, I am." He wasn't expecting that.

Next we had a great conversation where he insisted that since I often do not pay for hotels in the places I go, then I must not be traveling where I want to go, only where I can go. We argued this topic for several minutes. Apparently smart travelers are not part of their time-share. And I am not allowed to enjoy vacations that are inexpensive or in which I visit friends/family.

So then his sales-person friend came over and tried to give me pricing. He made a big mistake by starting with "can you afford $10 a month?" I said "yes, I can afford $10 a month, but the real question is whether I want to pay you $10 a month." He just got up and left the table. But since he had not quite had enough, he came back and asked again if I could afford $10/month. I said, "that sounds great and all, but I really hate paying interest. It makes me mad. And if I pay you $10/month for the next...forever... then I am paying an awful lot of interest to your company, and that seems like a bad idea to me." His amazing response "But it is only $10 per month, even if all you pay is interest it is really inexpensive." Seriously. Do I really want to just pay interest and never actually pay down the cost of the time-share. And, to top it off, the actual price was much higher than $10/month.

Is anyone surprised that I did not take the bait? Is anyone surprised that when the 4rd guy sat down to talk to me about my overall experience that day I told him it was a 6 (scale of 1-10), and that I was being very generous in rating the experience a 6?

At least I got a lot of laughs out of it. And $40 in Home Depot gift cards. And a 4 day, 3 night stay in my choice of Las Vegas, Orlando, Reno, Kona (Hawaii) or Los Cabos (Mexico). Where should I go?

Wednesday

2008-06-06T12:34:00.002-06:00

Lets start at the beginning. I have a hard time swallowing. This is because my esophagus has decreased motility. It is not very fun, trust me. Also, in just the last 2 months or so I break out in hives everytime I sweat. That is not fun either, I promise. So after getting home from work on Wednesday morning I took an Allegra (prescribed by my dermatologist to help with the hives). I have had a difficult time swallowing pills for a very long time, but thought I would be okay, the pill is relatively small and is round. Well that was about 8am. The pill lodged in my throat. I will spare you the details, but lets just say at 2pm the pill was still lodged in my throat and I was still unable to swallow even a drop of liquid. Things were going really well at this point. I decided that I probably should not be alone since there were several times when I couldn't breath at all during the previous 6 hours. So, I headed over to my parents house. No one was home. Hmm. I called my doctor and they said that if I could be there in 3 minutes (2:20) I could come, or I would have to wait until 2:50. I promised them I would be there in 3 minutes, they told me to drive safe and I headed over. I got there and everyone could see I was in a fair amount of distress. (gagging and wretching for 6 hours will do that to you). They got me back to a room (although they first had to get my weight and height...seriously- priorities people). The medical assistant person took my blood pressure, heart rate and respiratory rate. My blood pressure was 135/94 (I think), my heart rate was very near 120. Her comment was "your blood pressure is normal, except the bottom number is a little high". What?!? For those of you not in the health profession, the high end of normal for blood pressures is 120/80. I was definitely hypertensive. And, she was not concerned about my heart rate at all. Normal heart rate is definitely less that 100. The doctor was concerned when he came in because he immediately took my pulse again. Then he told me that I would be getting an emergency endoscopy. Ooh, fun.

After a couple phone calls he told me to go over to the hospital. I was to go through emergency so they could admit me, then I was to go to endoscopy, they would be waiting for me. I got to the hospital, my sister-in-law Liz was waiting for me (I had called to ask if she would be so kind as to drive me home from the hospital when the test was over since I would be sedated). I won't go into the details, but an hour after we arrived at the hospital we finally found the endoscopy lab. Apparently the staff at the hospital still do not know where things are.

They got me set up immediately, sedated me and got to work.

They couldn't fit the endoscope down my throat so they had to use a bronchoscope (a much smaller scope used to look at the lungs), which barely fit. Then they had to work really hard to dislodge the pill. So apparently my throat is about 11mm in diameter, whereas normal throats are around 20mm in diameter.

It has been almost two days and it still hurts to eat (my throat tore when he tried to dilate it). So, I am still on a liquid/soft diet. Which mainly consists of mashed potatoes. Good times.

I am hungry.

cycles of hunger

2008-05-25T22:41:00.003-06:00

Life has interesting cycles. For example, my cooking habits have cycled. In junior high I was all about cooking and I actually cooked quite a bit. Some in High School. Then I got to college. For the first year I held my own. Mostly easy to make boxed meals. But I ate. Then I moved home for the summer. I found myself totally reverting to being completely useless and dependent. It was pretty crazy. I made my way through the rest of college and actually ate pretty well with homemade food and lots of leftovers. Then I moved home again and reverted again. There is just something about mom making you dinner. Now I have moved out and have yet to fix a real meal. I have lived here almost a month. I eat lots of cereal and granola bars. Occasionally I make an omelet or have chips and salsa. On really crazy days I have a quesadilla. And until my yogurt supply dried up, I was eating lots of yogurt. Now all that is in my fridge is cheese and milk. It is going really well. Any ideas of how long this cycle is going to last?

Oh and I go over to my parents several times a week for dinner. That will keep up until they change the locks.

More pics

2008-05-12T16:45:00.001-06:00

Go here to see pics of my place. Right before I moved in. This is the lazy way of posting.

six things

2008-05-04T21:51:00.003-06:00

1. Yesterday I moved in. I don't have internet access because apparently the 4 neighbors that have wireless do not like to share. I don't think they passed Kindergarten. I remember sharing and cutting being very important parts of the curriculum in Kindergarten.

2. One of my neighbors came by with her dog to say hi. She told me that all the cars get broken into in our neighborhood. That stinks. Maybe they will just take my whole car so that I will have an excuse to get a new one. I almost killed my car yesterday. Apparently cars need oil. Weird.

3. I refuse to turn my heater on because summer is coming, dangit. So, I absolutely froze while sleeping before/after work last night. I might reconsider the heater thing tonight. If I am really cold. And feel like a human popsicle. Or, maybe if I can see my breath.

4. I have 1 fork, 1 spoon and 3 knives. If you come to visit and expect to eat we either have to take turns or not use proper flatware. Oh, and I don't have any plates. But I do have a lid to a casserole dish that I used to eat my burrito yesterday. I am high class.

5. My dad doorbell ditched yesterday. I wasn't home. He left a couch on my porch. An upholstered couch. It stayed there until after I got home from church today and my brother could help me move it inside. I am officially white trash. So much for making friends in my new place.

6. Pictures to come. Will represent the current state of my condo.

On Saturday I became a professional photographer

2008-04-28T15:59:00.005-06:00

So I showed up at my friends wedding and after the ceremony we were all standing outside the temple waiting for the bride and groom to come out, the usual. As I am standing there, I look around repeatedly and notice that no one has a nice camera but me (I am not a professional). I kept looking around, and no one came. Then out came Mary and Jake, and no one came. So, I very quickly became the photographer. The day went something like this:

Me: "um, how about everyone on Jake's side get in the shot, then smile"

"ooh, look what they did, lets do that"

"yeah, kissing seems like a good theme, try that again."

Essentially we walked around temple square and stole other people's photo ideas. It was pretty awesome.

And, sadly, the temple is crooked in most of the shots, you know, leaning tower of pisa style. Luckily, they got exactly what they paid for. Maybe even more because somehow my camera manages to take good pictures without my help.

Here are some of my favorites. The little kid with the flowers definitely just pulled them out of the ground at the reception. Then a little girl ran after him screaming about how he needed to give them back. She got the flowers from him and ran around with them for a while. It was great.

Preview

2008-04-17T23:19:00.004-06:00

I am still painting my condo. I am a slow painter. And there are a few colors which makes everything more difficult. But, I decided I would post a couple pictures so you can get an idea of what to expect when you come visit me. And, you can weigh in on the elphaba-green room.

We'll start with the good, and move on from there. I really love my blue wall. I think it is stunning. My mom loves it. My dad thinks it is ugly.

My mantle is going to match the blue wall. It still needs a couple coats of paint. Right now it has the antiqued look.

The chartruese (?) kitchen is one of my favorite parts. It is just a fun color.

Note that the plant is still alive, it will not be long before it goes the way of all plants I own.

As we make our way down the hall we immediately notice the glow coming from my bedroom. I was not exaggerating. This picture is proof that my bedroom emits harmful radiation.

So here it is. It looks all cute and fun in the pictures. I still don't know how I feel about the color.

The doorway into my master bath.

Please notice that in this picture the green is different. It really does change every second.

So there it is. I still have to paint some more and peel off all the tape. Which, by the way, when I started peeling the tape off it peeled some of the paint with it. So, now I get to fix all the edges. Woo hoo.

Elphaba green

2008-04-12T23:27:00.004-06:00

It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me that I love Wicked. I have seen it twice (broadway and chicago) and own the soundtrack. I just love it. However, I am not take-over-my-life obsessed with it. So, when we painted my room in my new Condo I was a little overwhelmed when it came out as what I like to describe as Elphaba Green.

Yes, that is the green of my bedroom. My dad keeps telling me the color is fine (he doesn't want to help paint it again.) When I painted the first coat I got a migraine. I am pretty sure that my bedroom glows in the dark. And probably emits cancerous radiation. I probably won't be able to sleep at all, because it will be like daylight all the time. The color actually changes according to the lighting. Early morning sun makes it bright neon green. Afternoon sun it is less neon. And in the evening it actually not too bad, a much darker shade of green. It is a horse of a different color. I am trying to decide if I am going to be able to live with the color choice. I really don't want to spend another $50 on paint, but it is really bright. There is also the option of texturing with white over the green to tone it down. I will take a picture next time I am there so that you can get a better idea of the joy that is my bedroom. The hall glows green if the sun is right. Boy, is it fun.

canceled

2008-04-10T20:45:00.002-06:00

My trip to Israel was canceled. I have mixed emotions about this. Part of me is relieved to have all the money back. The other part of me is just plain sad that I am not going on this amazing trip. Anyone want to go anywhere? I need an adventure. International? US? I am up for anything. Well, almost anything. I really want to go back to Europe. Any takers?

I may be dying

2008-04-05T20:50:00.002-06:00

For the second time this week I had a weird medical experience. I don't really know how to describe what happened in a way that you will fully appreciate what occurred. Both Monday and again today I have suddenly developed a wide-spread rash. We're talking, all over my legs and arms and back. Red, itchy, raised rash. Today I looked down and my legs were bright red/purple. Along with the rash comes an intense itch. Horribly itchy. It is so bad that I cannot stop itching, literally. On Monday all I could do was take a benadryl, take an oatmeal bath and then sleep it off. Today I didn't have that option. All I could do today was keep on keepin' on. As in, I was at my Condo painting with my dad. I told him that I wasn't sure what was happening, but that I might be having an allergic reaction to something. He told me to stop talking and keep painting. I said that I might stop breathing if it was an anaphylactic reaction. He said to stop talking and keep painting. I told him that I couldn't handle the itch. He told me to stop talking and keep painting. He is good like that. He later said that if I had collapsed he would have just pushed me out of the way and kept painting. The compassion is amazing. We Johnsons are known for our compassion and caring. I can't think of anything that was the same about the two experiences that would have been a trigger. However, being the medically-minded person that I am, my mind immediately focused on all the horrible things that could be happening. So, hopefully I am okay after the next spell (if there is a next time). Otherwise, I will let you know how the hospital stay was.

South Bend and Chicago

2008-04-03T20:23:00.007-06:00

I got back last week from my trip to visit my brother, sister (in-law) and nephew. It was so much fun. I took about 6.8 million pictures. So, I will share with you some of my favorites. And, I uploaded them in no particular order, so enjoy the randomness. I threw in a couple of funny ones to show that it really is straight-up luck that I get any good ones.

Most of these are of my adorable nephew. There are more posted on The Book of Armaments (sorry if you can't see them because you are not an invited member. I am elitist like that.

This one, as with all of them, is much better in full size.

He thinks he is funny. So do I.

The basilica at Notre Dame. It is gorgeous, and has a giant gold-leafed Mary on top. Very cool.

I was supposed to get some good "family photos". I like this one.

One of my faves. He almost has the "who is this lady who won't stop taking my picture" look.

I don't know why, but this one speaks to me.

Although naturally very cute, this picture proves that I am not always able to capture that cuteness. It is still good, just with funny eyes.

Check out those eyes. I wish my eyes were bright like that.

More proof that I am not that good. Or, maybe I am really good since I caught a face like this. I fully expect to use this as blackmail at a later date.

Loving the slides.

This was about 30 minutes after they picked me up at the airport. He still isn't sure what to think of me and my camera.

Good sun exposure.

Chicago was so great. The weather was surprisingly mild. And, as much as I love the boy, it was really nice to just have us girls and no stroller.

Since no one is allowed to touch my camera, especially random strangers, we have separate pictures at Wicked.

I let my sister-in-law touch my camera for this one. She can count herself very lucky. That is her coat, too. I chose not to bring mine. I almost chose to take this one home with me.

So, there it is.

And, by way of really simple review: Wicked in Chicago is excellent, but a slight step down from Wicked in NYC.

my estimated age is quickly decreasing

2008-04-01T11:05:00.004-06:00

On the flight home from Chicago I had a great seat, aisle with an empty chair beside me. The conversation that followed went something like this:

Flight Attendant: "Are you travelling alone?"

Me: "yes"

F.A.: "Would you like to sit in the exit row"

Me: "sure" (you usually get more leg room in the exit row)

F.A.:"Wait, how old are you?"

Me:"25"

F.A.:"Okay, great. Follow me."

At which point I followed the flight attendant to the exit row. And this other guy joined us on the exit row, and he took the aisle, so I had the middle seat. And the seat was excrutiatingly uncomfortable. So much so that I had to lean forward during the whole 4 hour flight.

While sitting in the exit row, I grabbed the little booklet to see how old you had to be to sit in the exit row. 15. Not 18, or 21 or anything even remotely close to my age. The flight attendant lady seriously thought I was quite possibly younger than 15. Yikes. I was dressed well, minding my own business. I was not acting like a teenager or a pre-teen. Yet, even at my best, I look younger than 15. Awesome.

25ish

2008-03-10T00:56:00.003-06:00

The missionaries came over today. They wanted to ask the bishop (dad) about people in the ward to visit. So, I sat in for the discussion. At the end we had a little do-you-know... fun. As in, oh, you lived in Riverside, so did we, do you know ___? It went well, as it always does. Then one of the missionaries asked me how old I am. I said 25 (my birthday was last Monday, p.s.). He was very surprised, and with the tact of a 19 year old boy, said "really, I thought you were in the last year or two of high school, like 16-18". Hmm. No. Off by almost a decade. Thanks though. I am not sure if he was trying to test out his chances with me after the mission, or what. I think I managed a "yeah, people usually think I am younger than I actually am". So, if anyone knows any nice 19-year-olds, send them my way. Apparently that is the age group I am attracting.

speed racer

2008-03-07T14:49:00.003-07:00

I went here and did the typing test. My results:

You type 385 characters per minute

You have 69 correct words

You have 2 wrong words

I type 69 words per minute

I know that really isn't that great, but it is better than I expected. What can I say, I just don't type that quickly, especially under pressure. Typing from my head is much quicker than copying words on the computer screen.

What about you?

Giving in

2008-03-03T12:33:00.002-07:00

A: Attached or single: Single, so very very single

B: Best Friend: I have lots of "BFF"s. But not really one Best Friend.

C: Cake or Pie: I am not really into dessert. I do like rainbow chip cake with rainbow chip frosting, though.

D: Day of Choice: I like most days. I guess mid May is pretty nice.

E: Essential Item: Underwear

F: Favorite Color: It used to be pink, but I have gotten past that. I like green. And a lot of other colors.

G: Gummi Bears or Worms: Sour Gummy Worms. Those are the best.

H: Hometown: Murray, UT. I used to claim Riverside, CA, but stopped claiming it when I was about 15. I lived in Provo, UT, but have never claimed that as my home or hometown.

I: Indulgence(s): Hmm, traveling. It is an expensive indulgence, but an indulgence nonetheless.

J: January or July: May or September.

K: Kids: None to speak of, but I feel like I have hundreds of kids because of work.

L: Life is incomplete without: friends

M: Marriage Date: May 23, 2010

N: Number of Siblings: 4 brothers, 2 sisters-in-law

O: Oranges or Apples: Oranges, except they are so darn messy and sticky. You can eat an apple without getting covered with sticky juice, but it is very difficult to do so with an orange.

P: Phobias or Fears: I hate hate hate hate spiders. And I am afraid of dogs. Especially big dogs. Weirdly, I am very okay with jumping out of airplanes, but little 8-legged creatures make me flee the room.

Q: Quote(s): I can't think of a good quote right now, so I will use the quote of the day on my iGoogle page: I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming. Mitch Hedberg.

R: Reason To Smile: Breathing.

S: Season: Spring. And I really like oregano, in case this question was about that.

T: Tag Six: Nope. Won't do it. I have a general rule that I don't do things like this, and now I am, but I will not be compelled to "tag" anyone else. If you want to do it, feel free.

U: Unknown Fact about Me: My life is generally an open book.

V: Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals: I wish I was a vegetarian, it would be a lot more healthy. Instead, I eat lots of meat. Last night I had a dream that I needed to get out of bed to let the cat out (I don't have a cat), and instead of getting out of bed to let the cat out I just kept hitting snooze on my alarm. So, I guess I am an oppressor of animals.

W: Worst Habit: Computer time.

X: X-Rays or Ultrasounds: X-rays never hurt, whereas ultrasounds can be rather uncomfortable. I guess for that reason I am going to have to go with X-rays.

Y: Your Favorite Food: This is apparently a problem I have. I don't know what my favorite food is. I couldn't even think of something I really wanted for my birthday dinner. I am cool like that.

Z: Zodiac: Pisces. My horoscope (from astrology.com): "Teamwork is the word of the day and wherever you find yourself, there should be give and take between you and the people you work with. You are an incredibly valuable member, even if your efforts are low-key" I think that just said I am a slacker. Hmm.

explorations in photography

2008-02-29T19:35:00.006-07:00

I took a bunch of random pictures with my camera today. I am no expert, I just played around with it. Here are some of the best pics I got. They are really rather stunning full size. My camera is great, I am hoping to figure out how to use it well soon.

This first one is of dead sunflowers from last summer that are on the side of the house. I really enjoy taking close ups.

I was playing with the contrast of focusing the foreground and blurring the background. It makes for an interesting shot.

This picture looks a lot better full size. My mom claims that the fruit on this tree used to be apples. They look like berries to me. Little wrinkly berries.

I just plain got lucky with this one. I just love that the background is so muted and the branch is so vivid. I honestly got lucky with every one of my photos today. When it comes down to it, I have no idea what I am doing, but I am having fun pretending.

crazy me

2008-02-28T17:34:00.004-07:00

I unfortunately really have no idea how to use my new computer or camera. However, with the help of my brother, James, I have learned to do a few very important things. For instance, I now have all my music on my computer, I can upload my movies (if I want) onto my computer to be viewed in FrontRow, and I can take pictures with my icamera. That is the most important thing. I can actually spend quite a bit of time taking crazy pictures of myself with the camera. Here are a few of the recent pics.

My bank account is crying

2008-02-19T14:29:00.008-07:00

My bank called me a few hours ago. They wanted to make sure I was actually as crazy as my purchases indicate. Yes, I am.
Yesterday I bought this:

and this:

and this:

and four of these:
and this:
and this (it was free because I bought so much other stuff):
and a couple other random things. It was a busy and expensive day. And fun too.

nervous

2008-02-18T15:56:00.002-07:00

I have not been nervous in a very long time. I don't get nervous to speak in front of people, I don't get nervous to sing in front of people (in small groups, of course), I don't get nervous on dates, I don't get nervous leading the music in sacrament meeting.
Yesterday, I decided to lead an additional verse for the sacrament hymn, since the sacrament was still being prepared. I had already talked to the organist, and we were on the same page. So, I just went for it. As we started singing the 4th verse (one of the extra verses), I realized that I was the only one singing and that everyone had already put their hymn books away. There wasn't anything to do, other than continue leading and hope that people would catch on quickly. Luckily, they did catch on. I am not sure why this made me nervous, but I was actually shaking and had the whole butterflies-in-my-stomach experience. It was horrible. I have looked like a fool on many occasions while leading the music. I have completely botched 9/8 time (as if anyone could lead 9/8 time), and just smiled the whole way through the song while waving my arm aimlessly. This did not make me uncomfortable in the slightest, I wasn't even embarrassed. I just laughed my way through the song, as did everyone in the congregation who paid the slightest attention to what I was doing. I have had people stand for the rest hymn at the same time as the verse was beginning, this didn't embarrass me in the slightest. I have even happily ruined time signature changes. So why was I so nervous when I was leading an extra verse? This makes no sense. I guess that means we are going to start singing a lot of extra verses in sacrament meeting so that people will catch on and I will not feel like a fool when we do sing extra verses. Or, it means that I should be released.

Dinner, the easy way

2008-02-16T19:30:00.003-07:00

There are a lot of nights (pretty much every night) that I decide to have an easy dinner. You know, warm up the left-overs, eat a frozen burrito, make a sandwich, have some cereal. It is just so much quicker than making from scratch for yourself every night. However, when I go out to eat I expect my meal to be prepared for me. One could argue that a cooked meal is indeed what you are paying for. Of course, atmosphere and not doing the dishes are included in the price, but the meal is really the primary reason for going out to eat.
It is no surprise, then, that I was somewhat aghast when my dinner came looking like this:In case the picture does not do justice to my dish, I will describe what I ordered and what arrived. I ordered the "Pear Salad". Doesn't that sound good. A nice salad with fruit. I love salad, and I love pears, so it was a match made in heaven. However, what I got is not something I would ever describe as "salad," even in the most liberal sense of the word. The plate that came to me consisted of a head of iceberg lettuce (still in it's head form) with a slit cut in the top and three pear slices placed in the slit to give it a mohawk look, around which was sprinkled cranberries and almonds, with a bit of dressing drizzled throughout. Don't get me wrong, I am willing to work to eat food (i.e. I will cut my steak myself, I will even put the condiments on my hamburger), but seriously, I was there to order dinner, not ingredients to make dinner. I was at a restaurant, not a grocery store. I was tempted right then to ask if they could just box up my "salad" throw in some carrots and tomatoes and send me home so I could make a salad out of what they brought me. Instead, I laughed. I was still laughing when the waitress came back to ask how the food was. I was laughing so much that I couldn't even tell her what a joke of a dinner she brought me. And, I hate it when people complain about what the ordered and ask for something different. So, I cut up my head of lettuce with my fork and knife (how else would you eat it) and sparingly added toppings to my fork-fulls of lettuce. The amazing thing, I was as hungry when I left as when I arrived at the restaurant, because it turns out that iceberg lettuce is really just water with a lettuce shell. The sad thing is that I didn't even get good atmosphere for my money- they sat me in the aisle at the end of my table, and people kept bumping into me as they walked by because there was not enough room for me and foot traffic. The nice thing, my friend paid for my dinner for me. This was possibly because he felt bad because I started out the evening by crying. Oh well. A free meal is a free meal. Beggars can't be choosers, right.

Because I have never been to Canada

2008-02-13T21:22:00.002-07:00

Yesterday I signed up to volunteer for the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympic Games. I am super excited. We will see if I am accepted or not. I volunteered for Salt Lake 2002, and it was amazing! I wanted to do Torino 2006, but couldn't, as I was still in school. However, no reason to no do Vancouver 2010. So, if you need me, I will be away. As I plan to travel for the rest of my life. Things like volunteering for olympics merely give me an excuse (as if I need one).

I HATE Flagyl

2008-02-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

The following is a list of reasons that I hate flagyl. I have listed the many side effects I am having from this horrible antibiotic. If you are weak of heart, this may not be the post for you. If you are sick of mind, keep reading: (taken from http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/metronidaz_ad.htm)
1. Mouth: A sharp, unpleasant metallic taste is not unusual. Furry tongue; these may be associated with a sudden overgrowth of Candida which may occur during therapy.
2. Central Nervous System: irritability, weakness, and insomnia.
3. Hypersensitivity: flushing, nasal congestion, dryness of the mouth, and fever.
4. Renal: polyuria. Instances of darkened urine have been reported by approximately one patient in 100,000. Although the pigment which is probably responsible for this phenomenon has not been positively identified, it is almost certainly a metabolite of metronidazole and seems to have no clinical significance.
Additional symptoms listed in the Rite Aid Pharmacy pamphlet:
5. Stomach pain, loss of appetite, constipation, changes in taste, sore throat

Hence, I am a mess. I am a walking warning label for Flagyl. Oh, and it tastes horrid. We are talking, I nearly throw up every time I take it (every 8 hours). And the taste lasts and lasts. It is pretty great that way.

And the pharmacy pamphlet says I should tell my doctor immediately if I have a sore throat because it could be a serious side effect. Hmm, I have had the sore throat since Monday. Oops.

However, I have lost a bit of weight, if we are looking on the bright side.

I am a blond?

2008-02-06T12:32:00.000-07:00

I got my hair cut on Monday. I love Betsy, she cuts my hair. She is the only one who has ever been able to cut my hair without destroying everything and ruing my life. And I am not even kidding. I found her when I was 18, and have followed her from salon to salon ever since. I will probably do that for the rest of my/her life no matter where I live. You could say I am codependent.
On Monday Betsy (who usually is quite sane) told me that I am a blond. Anyone who has known me in the last 10 years of my life would probably contest this, and with good reason. I was blond when I was a kid, but am now brown. I was in denial for several years in my teens when I still thought I was blond, but I have since come to my senses and embraced my hair color. So on Monday when Betsy told me that she considers me blond I almost laughed out loud. Her reasoning was such: there are very very few true adult blonds, and so as an adult lighter browns are actually blond. Hmm, not sure if I am jumping on this train, but it does explain a lot, doesn't it.

Adventures in Voting

2008-02-05T08:36:00.001-07:00

This morning I voted. It doesn't matter who I voted for because I live in the state of Utah.
So, I get to the poles this morning and tell them my name and get the card for the machine. I tried to choose a middle machine, but they made me go to the end so that the machines get evenly used or something. I stick my card in the machine, begining the voting process. I choose my candidate, then it prints a little reciept for me to check, I push "Cast Ballot" and the machine goes black. So, my vote is still sitting there for the world to read. And my card is stuck in the machine (the card I am supposed to give back to the nice ladies at the registration desk.
I call for some help and a lady comes over who has no idea what to do. She makes sure everything is plugged in and then decides to restart the machine. I ask her if I need to revote, and she says that she is not sure. Then she says "you didn't vote for ___, did you?" Um, yeah, that is what my ballot shows, isn't it.
I am not sure if I actually voted today or not. And I think that I got put down for my choice of candidate. And, I thought the voter worker people were supposed to be non-partisan, and that my vote was supposed to be private. So much for all of that.

Thank You

2008-01-28T22:30:00.000-07:00

President Hinckley, I am better because of you.
You will be missed.

Can't sleep

2008-01-26T04:06:00.000-07:00

So I have been sick for a week or so. I am a horrible patient. You would think I would be better considering I am a nurse, but no, I am a miserable complainer when it comes to being sick. Anyway, the unfortunate part is that I slept all day. So now I am awake all night. Hooray. And, I have been wanting to go to the gym all week and haven't been able to go because I have been feeling so sick. I hate that. I miss the gym (I never thought I would say that).

My illness has two fronts: neurological and intestinal. We will not discuss the intestinal side of things, as I am sure you really don't want to know. Neurologically speaking, I usually only rarely have headaches, and when I have them it is usually a migraine. Sadly, I have been having headaches much more frequently. I do not want to know if I have something seriously wrong (people keep suggesting brain tumor as the possible diagnosis, thank you). So, I have been trying to stay well hydrated, and ignore the fact that my body is currently fighting against itself. This is what I get for working with sick kids all the time. I guess you could say I signed up for this, so I shouldn't complain.

It is 4:11am, and for the first time all day I feel okay. Not great, not even good, but okay. I will take that.

I need to be better before Tuesday when I have to go back to work, because I hate being sick at work.

I have a really good attitude right now, can you tell?

I need to get out

2008-01-14T22:43:00.001-07:00

I have renewed my desire to flee the state. I really want to get out. Move away. Try to see if I can have a dating life anywhere in the country, because UT is not working for me. If not, I will move to Europe. I am okay with that option.

The major places I am looking at (in no particular order): Chicago, D.C., Boston, NYC, possibly So. Cal or AZ.

Essentially I need somewhere with single mormons who are actually motivated to do something with their lives.

Any ideas?

My life is over

2008-01-13T21:52:00.000-07:00

Tonight I played High School Musical DVD Board Game with my sister-in-law. It was pretty much a given that I would win.

I lost.

Twice.

Light Reading

2007-12-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

I work with infants. Those already born. Few of the parents of these infants are looking to immediately get pregnant (as they have an infant already). Yet, for some reason I found this magazine in the drawer at work:
I couldn't help myself. I mean, with a headline like "The best places to make a baby", how could I resist. It turns out this entire magazine is about how to get pregnant, from romantic getaways to fertility-producing foods. Yes, the cover does boast of a story titled: Foods for Super Sperm. And, luckily, inside is a chance to win one of these:
Yes, kids, this is a fertility watch. Imagine how wonderful it would be to simply look at your wrist to see if you are fertile. Can't you just write this in your day planner. Come on really. Imagine you are out with friends and one asks you the time, and then glances at your watch. Instead of the time, they get to find out if you are fertile and what day of your cycle you are on. That seems fun, and not at all awkward.
This magazine made me really happy, not so much that it existed, but that it was at my work. I am pretty sure that the infants are not looking to get pregnant. If anything, I think they just want back in their mom's belly.
If anybody is still looking, I want the watch for Christmas.

Good things

2007-12-21T18:04:00.000-07:00

Wow, this story made me cry.

Click here to watch

Have I mentioned that I really want to adopt, and probably want to do foster care.

Green scrubs of shame

2007-12-21T01:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at work I went in to calm a crying child down. As I reached to lift the baby I felt my arm get wet. Not a good sign. Another nurse came into the room to see if she could help and I just stood their frozen, afraid to look at what could possibly be on my arm. So I lifted my arm to show her, and it turns out I got poop all over my arm. How the poop got on the outer edge of the crib is a mystery to all. Nevertheless, I was covered with stinky poop. We laughed really hard for a while then I left the crying baby to the other nurse and called to have security meet me so I could get new scrubs out of the storage room. It turns out that the only scrubs available were XL or XXXL. Now, neither of those are my size, nor near my size. Luckily I found a M top, and then just grabbed the XL bottoms. I asked the security guy if there were any other scrubs anywhere and he said no. Then I asked if there were any in the OR. He said their probably were but didn't seem too interested in going with me to look. So, I took what I could get and went back upstairs to change. I looked something like this:

Except the scrubs were longer and the top fit, and I didn't have the ugly hat, and the scrubs were green not bluish, and I wasn't in Africa. Weirdly, I was wearing the same shoes. Okay, so it wasn't much like these pictures, but this was the best I could do.
Everyone at work laughed when they saw me for the rest of the night because you only wear the green scrubs of shame if a baby has produced something that has made a mess on you, and you were not smart enough to wear a gown for protection against possible messiness. I always laugh at the other people, so turn-about is fair play.
Oh, and I got to wear the green scrubs of shame home on TRAX. And they were too long and dragged on the ground and got wet. However, now I have some really comfortable huge pajamas. Lucky me.

I have found a man who has agreed to marry you...

2007-12-17T23:40:00.001-07:00

My dad announced last night that he has found my husband. Lucky me. Apparently his best friend's son is recently single. His future lawyer girlfriend dumped him to go to law school. That stinks. However, now it is perfect because we are both single. Woo hoo. I have met him on several occasions. We went to BYU together. He is attractive, but I am not sure that we actually have anything in common. But, his dad and my dad want us to get married because then the Becks and the Johnsons will finally co-mingle on a whole other level.
In the immortal words of J Lo: A man of my very own! You must bring me to him at once.

I believe we are now to 3 eligible bachelor's on my dad's list for me. Yip yip.

Happy days are here again

2007-12-08T03:17:00.000-07:00

For about the last month or so (minus one day) I have been really happy again. My usual kind of happy. It is great. My happiness has increased even more in the last 2 weeks. People at work are noticing that I am back to my old self. I no longer have a heaviness about me (not talking about my weight, that is a whole different subject). It feels so good. However, my gray days do help me appreciate the good days so much more. I guess that is the concept that the bitter makes the sweet taste even sweeter. I have had enough bitter for a while, bring on the sweet!
So, an apology to all of you who had to deal with the less-happy version of myself. I am back in full force, watch out.

Oh, and a couple days ago on TRAX this lady got on who was very very drunk. She could hardly walk and smelled very strongly of alcohol. But the amusing part was that she sat right next to a girl who was reading a book (a TRAX faux-pas if there are other seats available without neighbors). She talked to the girl for several minutes (until she got of the train). The girl even said, "I am reading my book, I would rather not talk" or something to that effect. And the girl changed seats. That changed nothing. She was a very persistent drunk conversationalist. It brought a smile to my face.
At work I was telling my coworkers about my amusing train ride and then we all started talking about what kind of drunks we would be. It was determined that I would be a funny drunk. I would probably have a ton of energy and would laugh a lot. It would be annoying to other people, I am pretty sure.
On the TRAX ride home a guy stared at me the entire time. So, to make things even more uncomfortable I stared back. It was awesome.

Because you love

2007-11-26T21:04:00.000-07:00

Imagine this:

You are in a room full of intimidating and important people, and yourself (very average). All are gathered for an in-depth discussion about a topic that is difficult for you to talk about. You are the only one showing emotion, well the only one showing great emotion. You cry through practically the entire hour and a half meeting. And there are no tissues. Oh, and you make a comment that could have been very offensive to several of the people in the room, because you call it like you see it. And several people thank you for making such a comment. Somehow, despite looking like a blabbering fool, the majority of the people in the meeting thank you when all is over, and tell you what a great person you are and how brave you were to be there and to care the way you do. And they all give you hugs. Suddenly no one is nearly as intimidating and titles are stripped away. And when all is said and done, things are going to change in a big way because of you.
It is hard to imagine. And hard to take in. And hard to process in so many ways. And the scar in your heart will never quite heal, but you will learn to let it improve you. And it will change who you are forever.

That was my morning.

Forever attempting to get me married

2007-11-20T19:51:00.000-07:00

Last summer my dad tried to set me up with his accountant at work who was 20-something and apparently a great catch because he was done with school and had a good paying job. My dad gave this kid my number (I said it was fine, and it was the only way to get my dad to stop talking about it so much). He never called. Shocker. Then he moved to Texas. A place I have vowed never to live. Don't even get me started.

A month or two ago, my dad decided that his friend's son and I are perfect for each other. This guy is late-20s/early 30s, has a good paying job, real estate in Park City and parents that we already know and like. Obviously he and I are perfect for each other. He keeps telling me that we need to go out, but it has not gone anywhere. Shocker.

On Sunday my dad came home from church to tell me that this lady in our ward (30s, I think) wants to set me up with her brother. He is obviously a great catch because he is in dental school. Across the country. I am not sure why she asked my dad if this would be okay, but has still not talked to me about it. I guess we are going out sometime over Christmas break. With my luck we will totally hit it off and then he will go back to the mid-west where he is in school and that will be the end of that. Shocker. After my dad told me about all of this guy's "merits" I told my dad that dentists are the profession that is the most likely to cheat on their spouse. It is something about having all those cute little hygienists in the office all the time that gets em.

Yesterday I went to Provo and people kept asking me if I am dating someone. I am not. Shocker. I guess moving to Salt Lake makes people think you all of a sudden start dating all the time. Nope. It is pretty similar to Provo. Which I am okay with. I may sound bitter about dating, but I still accept offers for blind dates and set-ups. Even with a rather hilarious history of terrible blind dates, I still go on them. I am still up for trying. I just have to have a little fun with it in the mean time.

Thank you for your business, and...

2007-11-20T19:42:00.000-07:00

So I have this adorable skirt that I bought while in Chicago, that I still have not been able to wear because of this pesky problem of it being very difficult to press. We are talking perma-wrinkled. It was driving me crazy. So, I finally took my skirt to the dry cleaners today to have them work their magic.
There is a nice man who works at our dry cleaners. He is always there. Usually after you give him your info and your clothes (hopefully not the ones you are currently wearing) he says thank you, tells you when to come get your clothes and you are on your way. Not so today. He handed me my ticket then gave me the weather forcast "it is going to be cold weather like this for the next 2 weeks. It is going to be really cold at night." I was taken off guard, but managed and "okay" in response. Then he provided me a current event, headline only "Warren Jeffs got sentenced to 10 years in prison." Wow. I think I managed to say "thank you" and drove away completely bewildered. I have never gotten so much bang for my buck at the dry cleaners.
Getting your skirt pressed: $2.65
Getting the weather and news report at the same time, and being left totally speechless: Priceless

One of the reasons I love my job

2007-11-18T19:40:00.000-07:00

This last week at work I was working day shifts, which means I actually get to interact with my patients and their families. This week one of my patients was toddler age. This patient was not particularly fond of anyone wearing scrubs- which included me. The patient would yell "no, no, no" as soon as I walked in the room, and "owie, owie, owie" whenever I touched said patient. We had a really good relationship going on. Very functional. However, the patient did snuggle with me for a while after a particularly traumatizing event, and the entire family celebrated with me after some particularly good news. Hugs and crying and everything. And then, at the end of the day, the patient gave me a sticker. There was some motherly coaxing involved, but the patient did not say "no" the whole time I was in there, and touched me in order to put the sticker on my hand. Man, that is the reason I go to work everyday.
The family of one of my other patients gave me a ticket to High School Musical on Ice, which made me so so happy. Unfortunately, I was unable to go. But, it totally made my day, seeing as how I am obsessed with HSM (well, obsessed is not really the right word. But, I do enjoy the silliness of it), and how incredibly nice it was of this family to give me the ticket.
So, I would have to say I went home from work that day with a smile on my face. And, the smile has stayed all weekend. Ahh, I love my job.