Because you love

Imagine this:

You are in a room full of intimidating and important people, and yourself (very average). All are gathered for an in-depth discussion about a topic that is difficult for you to talk about. You are the only one showing emotion, well the only one showing great emotion. You cry through practically the entire hour and a half meeting. And there are no tissues. Oh, and you make a comment that could have been very offensive to several of the people in the room, because you call it like you see it. And several people thank you for making such a comment. Somehow, despite looking like a blabbering fool, the majority of the people in the meeting thank you when all is over, and tell you what a great person you are and how brave you were to be there and to care the way you do. And they all give you hugs. Suddenly no one is nearly as intimidating and titles are stripped away. And when all is said and done, things are going to change in a big way because of you.
It is hard to imagine. And hard to take in. And hard to process in so many ways. And the scar in your heart will never quite heal, but you will learn to let it improve you. And it will change who you are forever.

That was my morning.

Forever attempting to get me married

Last summer my dad tried to set me up with his accountant at work who was 20-something and apparently a great catch because he was done with school and had a good paying job. My dad gave this kid my number (I said it was fine, and it was the only way to get my dad to stop talking about it so much). He never called. Shocker. Then he moved to Texas. A place I have vowed never to live. Don't even get me started.

A month or two ago, my dad decided that his friend's son and I are perfect for each other. This guy is late-20s/early 30s, has a good paying job, real estate in Park City and parents that we already know and like. Obviously he and I are perfect for each other. He keeps telling me that we need to go out, but it has not gone anywhere. Shocker.

On Sunday my dad came home from church to tell me that this lady in our ward (30s, I think) wants to set me up with her brother. He is obviously a great catch because he is in dental school. Across the country. I am not sure why she asked my dad if this would be okay, but has still not talked to me about it. I guess we are going out sometime over Christmas break. With my luck we will totally hit it off and then he will go back to the mid-west where he is in school and that will be the end of that. Shocker. After my dad told me about all of this guy's "merits" I told my dad that dentists are the profession that is the most likely to cheat on their spouse. It is something about having all those cute little hygienists in the office all the time that gets em.

Yesterday I went to Provo and people kept asking me if I am dating someone. I am not. Shocker. I guess moving to Salt Lake makes people think you all of a sudden start dating all the time. Nope. It is pretty similar to Provo. Which I am okay with. I may sound bitter about dating, but I still accept offers for blind dates and set-ups. Even with a rather hilarious history of terrible blind dates, I still go on them. I am still up for trying. I just have to have a little fun with it in the mean time.

Thank you for your business, and...

So I have this adorable skirt that I bought while in Chicago, that I still have not been able to wear because of this pesky problem of it being very difficult to press. We are talking perma-wrinkled. It was driving me crazy. So, I finally took my skirt to the dry cleaners today to have them work their magic.
There is a nice man who works at our dry cleaners. He is always there. Usually after you give him your info and your clothes (hopefully not the ones you are currently wearing) he says thank you, tells you when to come get your clothes and you are on your way. Not so today. He handed me my ticket then gave me the weather forcast "it is going to be cold weather like this for the next 2 weeks. It is going to be really cold at night." I was taken off guard, but managed and "okay" in response. Then he provided me a current event, headline only "Warren Jeffs got sentenced to 10 years in prison." Wow. I think I managed to say "thank you" and drove away completely bewildered. I have never gotten so much bang for my buck at the dry cleaners.
Getting your skirt pressed: $2.65
Getting the weather and news report at the same time, and being left totally speechless: Priceless

One of the reasons I love my job

This last week at work I was working day shifts, which means I actually get to interact with my patients and their families. This week one of my patients was toddler age. This patient was not particularly fond of anyone wearing scrubs- which included me. The patient would yell "no, no, no" as soon as I walked in the room, and "owie, owie, owie" whenever I touched said patient. We had a really good relationship going on. Very functional. However, the patient did snuggle with me for a while after a particularly traumatizing event, and the entire family celebrated with me after some particularly good news. Hugs and crying and everything. And then, at the end of the day, the patient gave me a sticker. There was some motherly coaxing involved, but the patient did not say "no" the whole time I was in there, and touched me in order to put the sticker on my hand. Man, that is the reason I go to work everyday.
The family of one of my other patients gave me a ticket to High School Musical on Ice, which made me so so happy. Unfortunately, I was unable to go. But, it totally made my day, seeing as how I am obsessed with HSM (well, obsessed is not really the right word. But, I do enjoy the silliness of it), and how incredibly nice it was of this family to give me the ticket.
So, I would have to say I went home from work that day with a smile on my face. And, the smile has stayed all weekend. Ahh, I love my job.

I just don't get it

So people always ask me why I am not married, and I just don't have answers for them. I mean, I am a fine specimen of womanhood.
For example, tonight I went grocery shopping like this:

Lets just start from the top: yesterday's hair (and I didn't do my hair yesterday); I think I have dandruff (which was the reason for going to the store, it actually makes me really sad); glasses, to cover up the fact that I am not wearing any makeup; Red jacket, blue shade top; gross hands, a product of working in the hospital- I actually look as if I have leprosy, very attractive; black capri sweat pants with the words "I Suppose" on the butt; unshaven legs; chaco's (and yes, it is freezing cold outside, and no the sandels do not work well with the winter theme including the jacket and sweats); ugly toe post surgical revision, but there is a strong possibility that it is infected. Yuck.

I don't get it. How could someone not want a piece of this? The mind reels that I am not married.

However, there was a nice man at costco (middle aged) that waved and smiled at me. I think he probably thought I was homeless or something. He was driving a Mercedes, and my car barely makes it to the gas station.

Ah, life is good.

One Year

One year ago my cousin Steven and his wife Catheryn passed away at Strawberry Reservoir. I remember getting the news. I had been in class all day and when I finally was going home for the day I checked my messages and my parents had left one saying that Steven and Catherine were in a boat accident and were missing. My heart sank. I started to cry on the way home. I remember going to my grandma's house that night, and then going up to the lake nearly everyday searching for them. I remember the Sunday after this happened going to church and singing "Master the Tempest is Raging" as the opening song. I cried through the bulk of the song, as we sang:

Master, the tempest is raging!
The billows are tossing high!
The sky is oershadowed with blackness
No shelter or help is nigh
Carest Thou not that we perish?
How canst Thou lie asleep
When each moment so madly is threatening
A grave in the angry deep?

The winds and the waves obey Thy will
Peace, be still!

I remember in that same meeting that the stake president was going to ask everyone to go up to Strawberry to go help with the search that day, had a ground search still been needed. So many people reached out in love when they heard about the accident. There are some truly good people in this world.

I remember the sorrow felt as a family for the loss of our cousins that we loved, and the closeness that it caused among our extended family. The constant stories of the miracles of Kimball and a friend, Mike getting out of the lake alive. Steven and Catheryn are two of my heroes.

I remember playing in grandma and grandpa's back yard as a child with Steven. I recall a few occasions of making Grasshopper Stew for people we weren't particularly fond of at the time. I remember playing night games, when it was still safe for kids to do that. As cousins, we all had a lot of fun playing together as kids.

That week of my life will be one I don't forget. They were truly lovely people.

Lorin, Steven's brother, made a beautiful tribute video, feel free to watch it:

TRAX and I are in a fight

More accurately, transportation in general and I are in a fight.
So a few days ago I rode TRAX to work. I love TRAX. Normally we get along fabulously. All went wrong on Saturday morning when I was riding home. At the station there were two trains, both shorter than normal. Trying to be smart about it, I chose the longer of the trains to board thinking that they would use the train with more space for transport. Oh how I was wrong. I got on the train, the driver was just standing there waiting around for departure time, a usual occurance. I sit down and only moments later the other train leaves. Rude. I said to the driver "If I would have known the other train was leaving, I would have gotten on that one." He indicated that that was the other portion of our train and we would be meeting up and connecting togther at the next station. Whew. So I sat, patiently waiting. We finally leave the station and meet the other train at the next station. We proceeded to bump into the car in front of us repeatedly while trying to connect all the cars. Apparently if you slam into the train in front of you hard enough the two trains will magically connect. 10ish minutes later, still not connected, the front train leaves. Rude. At this point I have already missed one connecting train. So, we eventually go, way way behind schedule. And, because we had to wait for the other train at each stop, it took forever to get anywhere. Meanwhile, I miss another connecting train (this one I see driving past as we are a mere block from the station. Rude. So, I sat in the freezing cold waiting for the next train for 15 minutes. Personally, I think it would have made a lot more sense to put all of us passengers on one of the trains, and do the normal route, meanwhile having the other train drive past the stations without stopping. Then, connect at the end of the route where there is actually time to do something like that. I should run TRAX. That is if we weren't in a fight.
So, I took a day off from riding the train. We needed our space. Yesterday evening I was all ready to ride again. I head to work at my normal time. The station is a whopping 1.1 miles from my house. Turns out it takes like 10 minutes to go a couple blocks now that the new hospital is open. Rude. I miss my train. Rude. I hate the Death Star aka IMC aka IMed aka Intermountain Medical Center. Turns out from now on if I want to go West I have to go East and if I want to go North I have to go South. Stupid traffic.
Raving completed.