Its finally over!

I went to the Cardiologist today. Something I have been doing every 1-2 years since I was 12. After 14 years he has finally signed off on me. No more going back to the cardiologist unless new problems arise. Woohoo! I am heart-healthy!

Grateful

Today I am especially grateful for organ donation. I have had a couple kids that I have taken care of at the hospital got much needed organs this week. What a miracle. And what a heartache at the same time. Whether live or deceased donation, it is so bittersweet. It is amazing that it works at all. I am thankful for lives that have been saved, and sorry for lives that have been lost. Thinking about it makes me cry, tears of joy and sorrow.

I really can't say more for privacy reasons, but organ donation is so wonderful!

today

It is 5:06 pm and I am still in my pajamas.

I don't see a problem with this situation.

Oh and I made cookie dough earlier just so I could consume some of the dough.

It has been a good day.

Study in Color

Pioneer Woman had a photo submission contest involving black and white photos. I had a lot of fun playing around with some pictures. This one was my favorite. I used to not really like black and whites, but I may be converting.

PW and me

I went to the PW book signing last night. When I got there (8:15) it was extremely crowded. Everyone had already been given tickets with letters on them and they were only on F. I couldn't get there any earlier because I was busy at work saving lives, or something like that. Anyway, I talked to one of the ladies that worked at the King's English Bookstore and she recommended that without a ticket I go and get some food or something and come back in an hour.

So, I went to my parent's house and had some delightful White Bean Chicken Chili and chatted with my mom. Around 10pm I showed back up at the bookstore. The crowd outside was slightly smaller, and much to my dismay they were only at M. Hmm. That is only half way through the alphabet in 2.5 hours. Looks like it is going to be a long night. Then the only guy there came up and started talking to me. We talked about random things for a while, but most importantly he let me know the letters only went up to R. Sweet. A while later Random Guy traded his R for someone's Q. Lots of letter trading was happening. Goodbye Random Guy. Then I started chatting with a couple girls. We had all been talking earlier, but they wanted to leave me and Random Guy alone. Sorry nothing exciting to report there. I decided to nestle myself amid the Rs, even though I had no letter to speak of.

Luckily, they stopped checking letters and we made our way in. I met Stripped Shirt Girl and Token Gay Guy (self named). We all chatted and laughed our way through the winding bookstore. We read The Stick Man while in the children's section. Good book. When we got up to Missy and Ree's mother-in-law we asked if we could get a picture with them. They are super nice. We talked to Missy about Banana Republic and comfy sweaters and skiing and wonderful Ree.

Finally we could see PW. She was still unbelievably cheerful. And seemed genuinely happy to meet all of us. We talked to Ree about my upcoming marriage to Random Guy and how the two girls I had glued myself to were going to be in the marriage too. Those are the kinds of things you talk about when you have waited in line until 11:30. Oh, and most of the wait was in the November cold outside. We talked about the random box of tissues that someone had glued Marlboro Man's face to and given to Ree. Of course we got a picture. Then I said "Thanks Ree" and was on my way.

So worth the hours of wait time. And, if I do say so myself, I think I got the sweet end of the deal. I didn't show up at 3 in the afternoon and still got my book signed.

Thanks PW.

Grandpa's Funeral, in pictures

I took some pictures at the viewing and funeral. I thought I would share. I still cry a lot. But he is free from his worn out body.

The last picture I have of grandpa, Aug 30, 2009. At this point he was already moved to the hospital bed in his home, instead of the recliner that he used for years.

Us 4 kids. All of us smiled, which is a feat.

The original 6 in the KC Johnson family. Most of us smiled.

3 members of the Military were there to do a salute at the cemetery.

Much like the guards for the Queen of England, they were very stoic.

The 8 pallbearers that were in town. James, Greg, Chris, Trevor, Ben, Shaun, Kyle, Brett. Eric wasn't able to come.

The casket and flag.

They held the flag above the casket while taps was played.

Not a dry eye as she played Taps. Quite sobering. Thank you for your service for our country.

They folded the flag.

And presented it to my dad, the eldest of the Johnson kids.

Marching away. I wasn't able to get a picture of them saluting my dad after they gave him the flag. I was in the wrong place.

My dad and the flag.

Before being lowered into the grave.

The flowers that made me cry. I typically mourn in silence, in that I don't like to tell people my problems. Well, I had told a couple friends, and they gave me flowers. And I cried like a baby when I saw them.

wash

The other day I put 2 SD cards in my back pocket so that I would have them while I was taking pictures, in case I needed more memory. Today I washed my jeans.

Poor sad lost memory.

I love you, Grandpa

The flag is at half mast. My grandpa died this morning. I guess you could say that it was expected, but that doesn't mean I miss him any less.

My grandpa was an amazing man. We were very close.

When my family lived in California my grandparents would come to visit us. They would ride Amtrak from Utah and would spend a week or two visiting. My grandpa would always walk to the elementary school to pick us up and would walk home with us. We always stopped at the grocery store on the way home where we each got to pick out a treat or toy.

When they were back home in Utah he and my grandma would send us 2 dollar bills. I remember thinking that they were the coolest things ever, and I wouldn't ever spend them because they were special, because they were from my grandparents. I still have a hard time spending 2 dollar bills.

Once or twice a year my family would drive from California to Utah to visit. My grandpa always took us to the 49th Street Galleria. We would mini golf. Every visit we did this, and I always looked forward to it. I think it was one of my favorite things to do in Utah. I think of him every time I drive by the old 49th Street Galleria.

Grandpa Ken served in WWII on a submarine. He was very proud of his service. I am patriotic because of him. I know how to properly fold a flag because of him.

He got his Silver Beaver in the Boy Scouts of America organization. He came out to California for each of my brother's courts of honor when they got their Eagles. I know a lot about scouting because of him.

I could always talk to my grandpa. In the last 10 years since my grandma died, I have spent a lot of time talking to my grandpa. Because his sight was failing, I would read to him. I don't know if he got anything out of those times, but I will always remember them.

When I was 12 my family moved back to Utah just 3 houses down the street from my Grandpa. I spent a lot of evenings with the "porch patrole," a group consisting of my grandparents and their best friends/neighbors the Becks. We would sit out there each night and just watch the evening pass. I wasn't allowed to move a lot because it would turn the porch light on via the motion detector. I spent a lot of time listening to my grandparents on that porch. After my grandma died I would sit on the porch with my grandpa.

He was always quiet. But I always knew he loved me. Even at the end when he had dementia, he always recognized me. We would have wild conversations as the dementia took his memory. He was always happy despite the confusion, which I am grateful for. I told him one day that he was looking thin and that maybe I should get on his diet (not eating), he told me to get on it. I talked to him about his "girlfriend" at the care center. He said he didn't have just one girlfriend. I told him that there was only so much dating that could be done in this world and since he had so many girlfriends I couldn't have a boyfriend. He laughed. We always laughed together.

When I was 10 I came out to Utah by myself to visit. I spent a lot of time with all of my grandparents. My grandma June made me a wonderful scrapbook, a copy for her and a copy for me. I now have both copies. At the end are the testimonies of both my grandma June and my grandpa Ken. I cherish this book. His testimony:

"Dear sweet, young Andrea Kay,

Just want to bear a special testimony to you of the Gospel in which we all believe. This Gospel has always been a very important part of my life and also important in the lives of your great grandparents, and your great, great grandparents.

I know this Gospel is true, and that God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ did appear to Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove. I know that it was through Joseph Smith that the Gospel, which had been taken from the earth following the death of the original apostles, was restored to the Earth. I know that through this restoration, we have the true authority to act in God's name here upon this earth. Further, this authority was restored to Joseph Smith by John the Baptist and then by Peter, James, and John who had recieved it from Jesus Christ while he was still upon the Earth.

I also know that we who have been baptized by this authority have the privilege (and also the responsibility) to choose for ourselves what we will do while we live here in this world. Those choices will determine what we will do after our mortal death.

Our families are so very important and we must always honor our parents and our families. Never do anything to discredit them nor the Church. The Lord promises great blessings to all of us - if we keep His commandments and always to good things.

I ask the Lord to continue His blessings upon you as you study and learn the Gospel, and pray daily to Him, being receptive to the Spirit. You are a special young girl - and we love you dearly.

Love,

Grandpa J. (signed)"

I cherish our time together. I spent a while with him last night. I just sat near him and talked to him. He didn't respond. I knew that the end was close and was glad to share more precious time with him.

For several years he has been too frail to make it to the temple, something he cherished all his life. I always wanted him at my wedding, but feared that he wouldn't be able to make it. Now he can.

I love you, Grandpa.