Monday, February 18, 2008


I have not been nervous in a very long time. I don't get nervous to speak in front of people, I don't get nervous to sing in front of people (in small groups, of course), I don't get nervous on dates, I don't get nervous leading the music in sacrament meeting.
Yesterday, I decided to lead an additional verse for the sacrament hymn, since the sacrament was still being prepared. I had already talked to the organist, and we were on the same page. So, I just went for it. As we started singing the 4th verse (one of the extra verses), I realized that I was the only one singing and that everyone had already put their hymn books away. There wasn't anything to do, other than continue leading and hope that people would catch on quickly. Luckily, they did catch on. I am not sure why this made me nervous, but I was actually shaking and had the whole butterflies-in-my-stomach experience. It was horrible. I have looked like a fool on many occasions while leading the music. I have completely botched 9/8 time (as if anyone could lead 9/8 time), and just smiled the whole way through the song while waving my arm aimlessly. This did not make me uncomfortable in the slightest, I wasn't even embarrassed. I just laughed my way through the song, as did everyone in the congregation who paid the slightest attention to what I was doing. I have had people stand for the rest hymn at the same time as the verse was beginning, this didn't embarrass me in the slightest. I have even happily ruined time signature changes. So why was I so nervous when I was leading an extra verse? This makes no sense. I guess that means we are going to start singing a lot of extra verses in sacrament meeting so that people will catch on and I will not feel like a fool when we do sing extra verses. Or, it means that I should be released.

1 comment:

Liz Johnson said...

I wouldn't mention being released. They could make you the Activities Chairperson. Trust me. Chorister is the way to go.

I would have smiled at you from the audience, and then probably pulled a weird face. Does that help at all?