I can't even express how much it means to hear people's voices that I know, or to get texts from people I know and love. It is what gets me through.
I cry about every hour or so. Mostly out of loneliness and being overwhelmed. More lonely than overwhelmed. These are the times that I think about how I could go missing and no one would realize for days.
My apartment is disgusting and in the ghetto. Major ghetto. It smells so strongly inside of smoke. Today at church I realized the nasty smoke smell was me, not someone around me. Gross. So hopefully that will calm down some as I live here longer. Stale, old second hand smoke is gross.
I start work tomorrow. I am excited to be busy. I am sure I will meet a bunch of new people which should help me not feel so lonely all the time.
The checker guy at Albertson's last night talked to me for a while, and it felt so good to feel like I have a friend here. Even though I don't even know him. I find myself talking to anyone who will talk to me. And probably talking their ear off.
I don't want anyone to feel bad for me, I signed up for this. Ultimately this is what I want. It is just tough in the mean time. I am sure that it will get better as the days go by. I am really trying to enjoy this change.