Things that make me giddy

1. I DON'T HAVE LUPUS!!! I cannot explain enough how happy I am about that. I have had this pall hanging over me for the last few months, and it is lovely to know that I don't have lupus. We aren't sure what I have, but I'm feeling much better as of late. I'm pretty sure I have night-shift-disease.

2. Christmas. I didn't get to go home for Christmas, but was still ridiculously happy about Christmas. My friends probably got sick and tired of me making them listen to Christmas music, but I just can't help it. I'm a little sad that it is already past.

3. Friends. My definition of a friend has been greatly refined as of late. My true friends are the people who take me as I am, and love me more because I am quirky/nerdy/giddy/sarcastic/and my own person. I'm not afraid to speak my mind, and my friends appreciate that, instead of taking a step back. Love that.

4. Family. I have a great family. I call and bug my family a lot, and they still answer the phone, which is positive.

5. God. I believe in a merciful God. And I think He wants me to be my own individual quirky self. He just wants me to be my best me. Thats what I'm working on.

6. Arizona. This place is freaking amazing. Moving here was the best thing I could have done. HANDS DOWN. I have grown a lot by being out on my own for real. Like really on my own. Like I have to call the tow truck myself if my car breaks down instead of just calling my dad. And no, I have not needed a tow truck.

7. Goals. I am not a good goal setter. But, I have a goal to run a half marathon on my birthday, so as much as I hate running, I go everyday because I WILL DO THIS. I will. And then I will celebrate for a long long time.

Life has been good to me of late. And it doesn't snow here!!!! Hallelujah. Amen.

Nothing

I don't have the energy to post much tonight.

But, for the record, I am pretty sure I am as drama as it gets. I can't be decisive for anything right now. Warning, I reserve the right to change my mind at the drop of a hat at all times.

Some days I HATE HATE HATE being a girl. Seriously.

Allergy testing is a joke. A big fat freaking joke.

I'm kinda not in the greatest of moods today. Please disregard this post. I will try to be stable again starting tomorrow.

Oh, I don't think I talked about how last week I feel out of bed. Yep, I'm 28 and I fell out of bed. And I have a huge bruise to prove it. I have a nasty habit of sleeping on the very very edge of the bed, and it finally caught up to me. But it made me laugh really hard. So, I guess it was still worth it.

Biker Chick, Shooter Chic

It was a pretty good weekend. Arizona continues to be full of adventures. I decided before I came that I would take advantage of all the opportunities that come my way. I don't want to have any regrets. I may only be here a year (who knows) and I want to experience as much as I can!

So, on Friday, I threw caution to the wind and went on an all-day bike ride. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal, I wore a helmet and biking jacket. And I looked a-maz-ing. It turns out that riding a bike all day makes for a very tired butt. I need a luxury seat for something like that. Ha! We rode to Prescott and walked around and then went and walked/hiked around a lake. It was pretty fun to explore. Prescott is so charming. It is like a little Mayberry. There are all these cute houses with big porches and very friendly people. So fun.

Then, on Saturday I went shooting. I have been shooting exactly one other time. I am not good at hitting anything, except maybe dirt. But it was still lots of fun. And I only got a little bruised. Which is better than my friend Quinlan can say. She is crazy bruised. Poor girl.

And now for a picture dump. There are lots.

This was one of the gorgeous views on our bike ride. The layers of mountains are so pretty.

The ripples in the lake that were so cool. And proof that I know enough about photography to capture ripples with detail.

At the lake.

It is amazing that you can get such forest-y areas so close to the desert I live in.

There were signs everywhere that said no swimming, but then this path goes straight into the lake. I don't understand why they would tempt me like that.

Isn't it pretty.

A view from the road.

My view for most of the day.

Proof that I am taking pictures (and texting) while riding. Turns out you don't need to hold on.

I look so amazing. I know.

Taken while driving.

The sunset was gorgeous.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Quinlan shooting. And yes, he is wearing a gas mask in the background.

Me shooting.

And for the dating update. I continue to be a dating spaz. But I am moving forward. New opportunities on the horizon for me. :)

Another day, another date

I had another date last night. And another one this coming Friday. So far, Phoenix has proved itself to be a much better dating scene than Salt Lake.

I'm not used to people spending money on me. And it makes me feel really self-consious. I need to get over that.

I'm not used to someone being so interested so quickly. I'm much more used to dysfunctional Utah guys.

I'm an awkward mess. This you all knew, but it has become even more apparent to me of late.

New things, new me.

One of my goals with this move was to experience new things. Well yesterday I did just that. I had several firsts.

1. I saw the Biosphere 2. It turns out most people don't even know what the Biosphere is. I remember reading about it as a kid in National Geographic. Well, I saw it. I didn't get a chance to go in because we were on our way to a cave, but it was awesome to even see from a distance. I feel so complete.

2. I went caving. And can I tell you, it is AWESOME. Muddy and sticky and wet and crazy and awesome. I even went swimming in the pool in the cave. Don't even get me started on the hazards of stagnant water. I threw caution to the wind and got in. Only 3 of us did, and it was well worth it. So fun! We went to Peppersauce Cave. Not nearly as cool as Timpanogas Cave, but it was fun to explore and wander around. And realize how weak I am. Ha.

3. I stopped at the Tom Mix Monument. Yep, I had no idea who this guy was, and why he gets an entire park and monument dedicated to him. Apparently he died in 1940 as he lost control of his car and an aluminum suitcase full of jewels hit him in the back of the head. Crazy. But it was random and fun, so there you go.

4. I had sushi. I'm not really into fish, but I want to like fish, so I just dove in. I had a couple different types of sushi, and some sashimi. Surprisingly good. Not sure what I think of the texture of sashimi. Raw fish is weird. But good overall.

5. I had rattlesnake. Who knew that scary rattlesnakes were for eating?! I have had alligator before, and rattlesnake was a similar experience. They both are quite mild, and similar to chicken. It is a bit more chewy though. Now I can cross that off the list (I didn't even know it should be on the list before last night).

6. I toured a biotech lab which was so cool. And way more amazing than the biotech lab we had in high school. But I remembered things from my class in high school, so good job public school system. I got a behind-the-scenes after hours tour of the lab where they are doing all sorts of cancer research. So cool.

Oh, and I had a date last night. It was really fun. So there you go.

Life is good. Work is stress. Things are getting better.

the cut

My new hair cut. And proof that I have done laundry but haven't put it away yet.

I just got home from a date. But that is not the purpose of my post.

I got my hair cut today. I have major anxiety about getting my hair cut by anyone but Betsy Ross. She is amazing and has been cutting my hair for the last 10 years. I have had sporadic horrific experiences in the mean time where I have lost Betsy and have tried out other stylists only to have my hair severely ravaged and mangled beyond repair. Well, today I went to Megan (who's name is not nearly as cool as Betsy Ross). I looked up reviews online of people who are good at cutting curly hair in Phoenix to find her. Because, contrary to popular belief, just because you went to beauty school does not mean that you are qualified to touch my hair. I have some SERIOUS curls, that when not treated respectfully will wage an all-out war against me. And as I don't enjoy the afro look for myself, I have to be careful with what I do.

I went to Megan and told her straight-up that I was nervous about having someone new cut my hair. All I wanted was a trim and thin.

Well, I got a trim. But it is definitely more like a cut. She cut off more than I expected. I'm pretty sure I lost 3-4 inches of length. But length is a hard thing for me to measure because cutting a little reduces weight and creates tighter curls and thus much shorter hair. It is scientific and what-not.

And she didn't thin at all, just layer.

So sort of what I asked for. And then she styled it curly. Which is fine, but I have enough experience with my haircuts to know that straightening it and polishing off the cut while it is straight really produces the best results. Ah well. So far the cut seems decent enough. Although, I think it is a touch overpriced at $50. Betsy is $40 and spends more time on me. Anyway, the part where the date comes in. I told him that I might be a touch late because I was getting my hair cut. He was good about it. But, if you are looking for a really easy way to compliment a girl who told you she just got her hair cut... tell her that her hair looks nice. It is easy enough. Not a strike against him that he didn't, just a thought. I mean, you are trying to win me over, right?

...sweaty armpits are not cute. But I realize that sometimes you can't control your nerves around someone so amazing. Ha!

Hike night #1

A couple friends from my ward and I went hiking tonight. Hiking here is very different than in Utah. "Mountains" is a relative term, I have come to find out. We hiked Shaw Butte tonight. I think it is about 4 miles round trip. It is pretty steep in some areas, but was really fun. We are going to try to go on a hike every week. I'm excited to explore with them.

I didn't take a camera, so I have nothing to prove that I got to the top. But the view of the city was great from up there. And I made it without feeling like I was going to die. I consider that a major win!

Observations

1. DMV- the one here in AZ is horrible. I spent 3.5 hours there to get my driver's license and car registered.  At least I am legal now.

2. Monsoon Season- Apparently this is "monsoon season". In AZ that means that we get dust storms and light sprinkling rain.  I have been in what I considered to be monsoons while in Africa, and it was nothing like this.  Everyone here makes it out to be a really big deal and really terrible. The dust storm today lasted a few hours and just made the air brown for a while.  A lot of hype for nothing.

3. My GPS and I are co-dependent. I can't get anywhere on my own. And if I try to, I get lost.  But, major win: I got home from the gym tonight without even turning my GPS on.  It required 4 turns. Don't be too impressed.

4. I have gained weight. Not an excessive amount of weight, but I am up a bit from all the weight I have lost this last year. On the positive side, I am still 20 pounds down from my heaviest.  Time to get back to business!

5. I think I have a friend. I have talked to the same person at FHE two weeks in a row. And, I think we are going to hang out tomorrow. She is my age, and seems pretty cool. Hopefully we can be friends.  It is nice to talk to someone in person. It is amazing how good it feels to have conversations that don't take place over the phone!

6. Hair- a lot of people here have brown hair. I like it. Utah is so full of fake hair and fake boobs and fake everything. It is nice to see natural-ness here.

7. Libraries- why the heck do the libraries close at 5?! I wanted to get my library card, but the DMV took too long and I wasn't able to get there by 5. 

8. Brave=stupid. People keep saying I am brave for moving here. I don't think that is accurate. I feel like a big baby all the time. I cry a lot. And if I don't cry, I am on the verge almost constantly. This is really hard and really lonely. I'm not brave at all. 

9. I'm from Utah- this is the first time in my life that saying that phrase has not immediately elicited the response "are you mormon?" It is surprising. I have told a ton of people where I am from, and only 1 person has asked if I'm mormon. I got asked that in foreign countries, but not here. Huh.

10. Febreze- as much as I had hoped that it would solve my ash-tray apartment, it has not done anything. Adding febreze to stale smoke smell just makes a flowery stale smoke smell. I still smell disgusting everywhere I go. Another reason why I choose not to smoke.

dot dot dot

I was a little late to church today. Just a couple minutes. Not a big deal. I walked in and found a seat in the back.  I sat by myself, which I don't mind.  Within a couple minutes the guy sitting across the aisle from me walked over and asked if I would like to come sit by him and his friend. Sure. What have I got to lose. It was all a little awkward because the meeting was already going when this happened, but oh well. His first line was his name and calling (ward missionary). The last time I met someone who introduced himself this way it was not a very good experience. But, I was hoping for the best.

We finished Sacrament meeting and I said thank you for asking me to sit there. He responded with something about how he would go with me to Sunday School but he had another class to go to. And that was the end of our interaction. And no one else talked to me. To be fair, I didn't talk to anyone else, so I have no one to blame but myself. I haven't cried since last Sunday, and was feeling a bit on the edge of a break down today, so I just tried to stay to myself so I wouldn't lose it.

I appreciate that he went out of his way to sit with me, but I feel like he only did it to check of a box for his calling. Who knows, maybe we will end up being friends at some point. I will take all the friends I can at this point!

My parents get home on Wednesday. I'm really excited about this, even though we live in different states. But at least I will be able to talk to them again.

I went to my cousin's house for dinner tonight. It was so nice to have a real conversation with someone in person. It has been a while since I have had that. Thanks Lani and Reid! 

My great new work friends are probably not going to be friends that I spend a lot of time with. Our interests are very different. Different in ways that will probably prevent us from finding things we can do together very frequently. But it has been really nice to get to know some people.

This last week has been a lot better than the week before it.  There are still a lot of bumps in my road, but I am dealing with them with less emotion.

Why on earth is 24 Hour Fitness not open 24 hours here?! That is totally lame.

Stream of consiousness

I got into town Thursday. This has been a really rough few days.  I can think of 2 other times in my life that have been this hard emotionally. The loneliness that comes with moving like this is very consuming. I have a few friends here in town, but most of the day I am essentially alone. I am sure that it will help me become a much better person, but right now it just sucks. Big time.

I can't even express how much it means to hear people's voices that I know, or to get texts from people I know and love. It is what gets me through.

I cry about every hour or so.  Mostly out of loneliness and being overwhelmed. More lonely than overwhelmed. These are the times that I think about how I could go missing and no one would realize for days.

My apartment is disgusting and in the ghetto. Major ghetto. It smells so strongly inside of smoke. Today at church I realized the nasty smoke smell was me, not someone around me. Gross. So hopefully that will calm down some as I live here longer. Stale, old second hand smoke is gross.

I start work tomorrow. I am excited to be busy. I am sure I will meet a bunch of new people which should help me not feel so lonely all the time. 

The checker guy at Albertson's last night talked to me for a while, and it felt so good to feel like I have a friend here. Even though I don't even know him.  I find myself talking to anyone who will talk to me. And probably talking their ear off.

I don't want anyone to feel bad for me, I signed up for this. Ultimately this is what I want. It is just tough in the mean time. I am sure that it will get better as the days go by. I am really trying to enjoy this change.

Goodbye SLC, Hello PHX

I am moving. I haven't really broadcasted it too widely, but now that it is really happening, I guess I will talk about it.
I have been unsettled for a year or two. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back to school or try a different job or what, so I have just stayed where I am and looked into options. Then I decided that becoming a CRNA sounded like a good idea (you know, good hours, good pay). Upon looking into it further, I quickly decided I better actually get a move on, and find a job in an ICU. Utah had really no options, there are just too many nurses here. My friend Ange moved to Phoenix a while back and she seemed to like it there, so I figured I may as well apply. I really didn't think I had any chance getting the job, but to my surprise, they hired me. And they are moving me. And the pay is better. AND IT DOESN'T SNOW.
Things have fallen into place very smoothly, which makes me think that this really is a good thing for me right now. I move down there on July 7. And my stuff will get there sometime on or before the 11th. I was hoping to get everything moved before the 7th, but too bad for me. So I guess I will be camping on my bedroom floor at my apartment for a few nights. Awesome.
I will be working in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Phoenix Children's Hospital. I'm really excited for this new challenge, and really nervous too. Hopefully I do okay.
For now I will rent out my house. If I love it down there I will probably sell my house after a while. If I hate it, I will move back to Utah after a while. I'm hoping I love it.

Did I mention that it doesn't snow. I don't care how hot it gets in the summer, as long as the winter doesn't make me want to die, I will be just fine.