New things, new me.

One of my goals with this move was to experience new things. Well yesterday I did just that. I had several firsts.

1. I saw the Biosphere 2. It turns out most people don't even know what the Biosphere is. I remember reading about it as a kid in National Geographic. Well, I saw it. I didn't get a chance to go in because we were on our way to a cave, but it was awesome to even see from a distance. I feel so complete.

2. I went caving. And can I tell you, it is AWESOME. Muddy and sticky and wet and crazy and awesome. I even went swimming in the pool in the cave. Don't even get me started on the hazards of stagnant water. I threw caution to the wind and got in. Only 3 of us did, and it was well worth it. So fun! We went to Peppersauce Cave. Not nearly as cool as Timpanogas Cave, but it was fun to explore and wander around. And realize how weak I am. Ha.

3. I stopped at the Tom Mix Monument. Yep, I had no idea who this guy was, and why he gets an entire park and monument dedicated to him. Apparently he died in 1940 as he lost control of his car and an aluminum suitcase full of jewels hit him in the back of the head. Crazy. But it was random and fun, so there you go.

4. I had sushi. I'm not really into fish, but I want to like fish, so I just dove in. I had a couple different types of sushi, and some sashimi. Surprisingly good. Not sure what I think of the texture of sashimi. Raw fish is weird. But good overall.

5. I had rattlesnake. Who knew that scary rattlesnakes were for eating?! I have had alligator before, and rattlesnake was a similar experience. They both are quite mild, and similar to chicken. It is a bit more chewy though. Now I can cross that off the list (I didn't even know it should be on the list before last night).

6. I toured a biotech lab which was so cool. And way more amazing than the biotech lab we had in high school. But I remembered things from my class in high school, so good job public school system. I got a behind-the-scenes after hours tour of the lab where they are doing all sorts of cancer research. So cool.

Oh, and I had a date last night. It was really fun. So there you go.

Life is good. Work is stress. Things are getting better.

the cut

My new hair cut. And proof that I have done laundry but haven't put it away yet.

I just got home from a date. But that is not the purpose of my post.

I got my hair cut today. I have major anxiety about getting my hair cut by anyone but Betsy Ross. She is amazing and has been cutting my hair for the last 10 years. I have had sporadic horrific experiences in the mean time where I have lost Betsy and have tried out other stylists only to have my hair severely ravaged and mangled beyond repair. Well, today I went to Megan (who's name is not nearly as cool as Betsy Ross). I looked up reviews online of people who are good at cutting curly hair in Phoenix to find her. Because, contrary to popular belief, just because you went to beauty school does not mean that you are qualified to touch my hair. I have some SERIOUS curls, that when not treated respectfully will wage an all-out war against me. And as I don't enjoy the afro look for myself, I have to be careful with what I do.

I went to Megan and told her straight-up that I was nervous about having someone new cut my hair. All I wanted was a trim and thin.

Well, I got a trim. But it is definitely more like a cut. She cut off more than I expected. I'm pretty sure I lost 3-4 inches of length. But length is a hard thing for me to measure because cutting a little reduces weight and creates tighter curls and thus much shorter hair. It is scientific and what-not.

And she didn't thin at all, just layer.

So sort of what I asked for. And then she styled it curly. Which is fine, but I have enough experience with my haircuts to know that straightening it and polishing off the cut while it is straight really produces the best results. Ah well. So far the cut seems decent enough. Although, I think it is a touch overpriced at $50. Betsy is $40 and spends more time on me. Anyway, the part where the date comes in. I told him that I might be a touch late because I was getting my hair cut. He was good about it. But, if you are looking for a really easy way to compliment a girl who told you she just got her hair cut... tell her that her hair looks nice. It is easy enough. Not a strike against him that he didn't, just a thought. I mean, you are trying to win me over, right?

...sweaty armpits are not cute. But I realize that sometimes you can't control your nerves around someone so amazing. Ha!

Hike night #1

A couple friends from my ward and I went hiking tonight. Hiking here is very different than in Utah. "Mountains" is a relative term, I have come to find out. We hiked Shaw Butte tonight. I think it is about 4 miles round trip. It is pretty steep in some areas, but was really fun. We are going to try to go on a hike every week. I'm excited to explore with them.

I didn't take a camera, so I have nothing to prove that I got to the top. But the view of the city was great from up there. And I made it without feeling like I was going to die. I consider that a major win!

Observations

1. DMV- the one here in AZ is horrible. I spent 3.5 hours there to get my driver's license and car registered.  At least I am legal now.

2. Monsoon Season- Apparently this is "monsoon season". In AZ that means that we get dust storms and light sprinkling rain.  I have been in what I considered to be monsoons while in Africa, and it was nothing like this.  Everyone here makes it out to be a really big deal and really terrible. The dust storm today lasted a few hours and just made the air brown for a while.  A lot of hype for nothing.

3. My GPS and I are co-dependent. I can't get anywhere on my own. And if I try to, I get lost.  But, major win: I got home from the gym tonight without even turning my GPS on.  It required 4 turns. Don't be too impressed.

4. I have gained weight. Not an excessive amount of weight, but I am up a bit from all the weight I have lost this last year. On the positive side, I am still 20 pounds down from my heaviest.  Time to get back to business!

5. I think I have a friend. I have talked to the same person at FHE two weeks in a row. And, I think we are going to hang out tomorrow. She is my age, and seems pretty cool. Hopefully we can be friends.  It is nice to talk to someone in person. It is amazing how good it feels to have conversations that don't take place over the phone!

6. Hair- a lot of people here have brown hair. I like it. Utah is so full of fake hair and fake boobs and fake everything. It is nice to see natural-ness here.

7. Libraries- why the heck do the libraries close at 5?! I wanted to get my library card, but the DMV took too long and I wasn't able to get there by 5. 

8. Brave=stupid. People keep saying I am brave for moving here. I don't think that is accurate. I feel like a big baby all the time. I cry a lot. And if I don't cry, I am on the verge almost constantly. This is really hard and really lonely. I'm not brave at all. 

9. I'm from Utah- this is the first time in my life that saying that phrase has not immediately elicited the response "are you mormon?" It is surprising. I have told a ton of people where I am from, and only 1 person has asked if I'm mormon. I got asked that in foreign countries, but not here. Huh.

10. Febreze- as much as I had hoped that it would solve my ash-tray apartment, it has not done anything. Adding febreze to stale smoke smell just makes a flowery stale smoke smell. I still smell disgusting everywhere I go. Another reason why I choose not to smoke.

dot dot dot

I was a little late to church today. Just a couple minutes. Not a big deal. I walked in and found a seat in the back.  I sat by myself, which I don't mind.  Within a couple minutes the guy sitting across the aisle from me walked over and asked if I would like to come sit by him and his friend. Sure. What have I got to lose. It was all a little awkward because the meeting was already going when this happened, but oh well. His first line was his name and calling (ward missionary). The last time I met someone who introduced himself this way it was not a very good experience. But, I was hoping for the best.

We finished Sacrament meeting and I said thank you for asking me to sit there. He responded with something about how he would go with me to Sunday School but he had another class to go to. And that was the end of our interaction. And no one else talked to me. To be fair, I didn't talk to anyone else, so I have no one to blame but myself. I haven't cried since last Sunday, and was feeling a bit on the edge of a break down today, so I just tried to stay to myself so I wouldn't lose it.

I appreciate that he went out of his way to sit with me, but I feel like he only did it to check of a box for his calling. Who knows, maybe we will end up being friends at some point. I will take all the friends I can at this point!

My parents get home on Wednesday. I'm really excited about this, even though we live in different states. But at least I will be able to talk to them again.

I went to my cousin's house for dinner tonight. It was so nice to have a real conversation with someone in person. It has been a while since I have had that. Thanks Lani and Reid! 

My great new work friends are probably not going to be friends that I spend a lot of time with. Our interests are very different. Different in ways that will probably prevent us from finding things we can do together very frequently. But it has been really nice to get to know some people.

This last week has been a lot better than the week before it.  There are still a lot of bumps in my road, but I am dealing with them with less emotion.

Why on earth is 24 Hour Fitness not open 24 hours here?! That is totally lame.

Stream of consiousness

I got into town Thursday. This has been a really rough few days.  I can think of 2 other times in my life that have been this hard emotionally. The loneliness that comes with moving like this is very consuming. I have a few friends here in town, but most of the day I am essentially alone. I am sure that it will help me become a much better person, but right now it just sucks. Big time.

I can't even express how much it means to hear people's voices that I know, or to get texts from people I know and love. It is what gets me through.

I cry about every hour or so.  Mostly out of loneliness and being overwhelmed. More lonely than overwhelmed. These are the times that I think about how I could go missing and no one would realize for days.

My apartment is disgusting and in the ghetto. Major ghetto. It smells so strongly inside of smoke. Today at church I realized the nasty smoke smell was me, not someone around me. Gross. So hopefully that will calm down some as I live here longer. Stale, old second hand smoke is gross.

I start work tomorrow. I am excited to be busy. I am sure I will meet a bunch of new people which should help me not feel so lonely all the time. 

The checker guy at Albertson's last night talked to me for a while, and it felt so good to feel like I have a friend here. Even though I don't even know him.  I find myself talking to anyone who will talk to me. And probably talking their ear off.

I don't want anyone to feel bad for me, I signed up for this. Ultimately this is what I want. It is just tough in the mean time. I am sure that it will get better as the days go by. I am really trying to enjoy this change.

Goodbye SLC, Hello PHX

I am moving. I haven't really broadcasted it too widely, but now that it is really happening, I guess I will talk about it.
I have been unsettled for a year or two. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back to school or try a different job or what, so I have just stayed where I am and looked into options. Then I decided that becoming a CRNA sounded like a good idea (you know, good hours, good pay). Upon looking into it further, I quickly decided I better actually get a move on, and find a job in an ICU. Utah had really no options, there are just too many nurses here. My friend Ange moved to Phoenix a while back and she seemed to like it there, so I figured I may as well apply. I really didn't think I had any chance getting the job, but to my surprise, they hired me. And they are moving me. And the pay is better. AND IT DOESN'T SNOW.
Things have fallen into place very smoothly, which makes me think that this really is a good thing for me right now. I move down there on July 7. And my stuff will get there sometime on or before the 11th. I was hoping to get everything moved before the 7th, but too bad for me. So I guess I will be camping on my bedroom floor at my apartment for a few nights. Awesome.
I will be working in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Phoenix Children's Hospital. I'm really excited for this new challenge, and really nervous too. Hopefully I do okay.
For now I will rent out my house. If I love it down there I will probably sell my house after a while. If I hate it, I will move back to Utah after a while. I'm hoping I love it.

Did I mention that it doesn't snow. I don't care how hot it gets in the summer, as long as the winter doesn't make me want to die, I will be just fine.

Surgery

Yesterday I had eye muscle surgery. I was cross-eyed, so they went in an fixed it. I came out with an eye-patch on. Arrrgh, Matey!


I tried the percocet and it made me super nauseous, so just tylenol for me.

Today I went in to have the doctor adjust the sutures in my eye. This was about as comfortable as it sounds. He clamped my eye open with a metal clamp thing and then worked away on the sutures. It wasn't too bad because he numbed everything. But I felt like crap after the numbing wore off. He gave me Tylenol 3 to see if that would help with the pain. I took some earlier, and it seems to be helping.

My eye is crazy blood red. And it feels better to sit in a dark room and keep my eyes closed. I've been listening to movies. Ha! And sleeping a lot. And hoping that the next time I wake up I will feel better. Here's hoping!


The doctor said that everything looks awesome. He said that it is the best he could hope for. Lets just hope it sticks! A decent number of people have to get it redone.

No really, this happened.

Edited to add [commentary] so that you can follow this.

The following is a transcript of a text message conversation I had today. To protect the innocent I won't use real names. J, M and T are all male. I had deleted some of my sent mail prior to typing this so the beginning is a little bit summary. J and I are good friends. M is also in the ward, we are friends, but not that good of friends. T. is also in the ward and we are friends.

M: If u r bored we can do something on the parking lot john says we can borrow his van [M is asking me to come enjoy him in van outside, its one of those work vans without any windows, pretty sketchy.]

Andrea to J: I'm going to kill you. [J is typically the one telling people to text me crazy stuff]

M: I'll protect him [J and M were outside together]

Andrea to M: I'll kill you too.

M: I haven't done anything to u why?

M: I am waiting!!! I bet the only thing more comfortable than this van is u bb [M is still coming on to me...]

I then asked J if he was texting me from M's phone because I was very uncomfortable.

J: I just told him to text you. What did he say?!

I forwarded the texts from M to J.

J: That is so nice!! Take him up on his offer!

T: Why is M in a white van holding up a sign on the window with your name on it?

several hours later...

M: Hey andrea do u want to drink from the waters of M [without being around J he is still saying crazy stuff, this is bad]

Forwarded M's text to J.

J: WHAT!!!

Andrea to J: You have created a monster!

Andrea to M: You are crazy!

J: Quench your thirst!

Andrea to J: I will never be that thirsty. [this is all referring to "the waters of M"]

J: Just try a sip...

Andrea to J: One sip of poison is still enough to kill you.

J: True. I almost died at my first Poison concert.

Andrea to J: Finally you are starting to understand

J: No. If I could go back I would do it again. His waters are pure...

M: R u dehydrated

Andrea to J: Are you talking to M right now?

J: I never have outside of church... What is he doing?

Forwarded M's text to J.

J: I will now call him The Hydrator!

Andrea to J: I am not thirsty for his kind of hydration

This is not fabricated or embellished. This really is my life. And my parents wonder why I am still single.

Too long

I have had a lot of requests to get back to blogging. So here goes. I think the main reason that I haven't blogged is that I don't have very many good stories to tell. Instead, I give you a list.

Update on the life of Andrea:

I still work at Primary Children's, which I enjoy.

I still get lots of hives, which I hate.

I am still single, which I am used to.

I still live alone in my condo, which I love.

I still have my cat Gigi, who puts up with me.

I no longer sleep, not so cool.

I continue to find great humor in the world around me, and share that with others.

I set off my fire alarms very easily, which may be an indication of the quality of my cooking.

I am no longer forced to plan ward activities, which brings me great joy.

I have straight hair today, which is abnormal.

I am current on all my bills, which is normal.

I text way more than I should, but so does everyone else I know.

I need to get an external hard drive, or my computer may self-destruct.

I hate spiders, but can't kill them because the crunching gives me the chills.

I had THE WORST NIGHTMARE EVER last night. No seriously. I woke up in a panic. Bad news. It was all my greatest fears combined. I'm blaming my lousy meds.

I hate taking medicine, but I hate hives more.

I haven't broken any bones this year, surprise.

I do not like dancing. At all. Not even a little bit.

Any questions?

WooHoo!

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

I love birthdays. They are just the greatest.

So here's to being 27. It's going to be a great year!

Its finally over!

I went to the Cardiologist today. Something I have been doing every 1-2 years since I was 12. After 14 years he has finally signed off on me. No more going back to the cardiologist unless new problems arise. Woohoo! I am heart-healthy!

Grateful

Today I am especially grateful for organ donation. I have had a couple kids that I have taken care of at the hospital got much needed organs this week. What a miracle. And what a heartache at the same time. Whether live or deceased donation, it is so bittersweet. It is amazing that it works at all. I am thankful for lives that have been saved, and sorry for lives that have been lost. Thinking about it makes me cry, tears of joy and sorrow.

I really can't say more for privacy reasons, but organ donation is so wonderful!

today

It is 5:06 pm and I am still in my pajamas.

I don't see a problem with this situation.

Oh and I made cookie dough earlier just so I could consume some of the dough.

It has been a good day.

Study in Color

Pioneer Woman had a photo submission contest involving black and white photos. I had a lot of fun playing around with some pictures. This one was my favorite. I used to not really like black and whites, but I may be converting.

PW and me

I went to the PW book signing last night. When I got there (8:15) it was extremely crowded. Everyone had already been given tickets with letters on them and they were only on F. I couldn't get there any earlier because I was busy at work saving lives, or something like that. Anyway, I talked to one of the ladies that worked at the King's English Bookstore and she recommended that without a ticket I go and get some food or something and come back in an hour.

So, I went to my parent's house and had some delightful White Bean Chicken Chili and chatted with my mom. Around 10pm I showed back up at the bookstore. The crowd outside was slightly smaller, and much to my dismay they were only at M. Hmm. That is only half way through the alphabet in 2.5 hours. Looks like it is going to be a long night. Then the only guy there came up and started talking to me. We talked about random things for a while, but most importantly he let me know the letters only went up to R. Sweet. A while later Random Guy traded his R for someone's Q. Lots of letter trading was happening. Goodbye Random Guy. Then I started chatting with a couple girls. We had all been talking earlier, but they wanted to leave me and Random Guy alone. Sorry nothing exciting to report there. I decided to nestle myself amid the Rs, even though I had no letter to speak of.

Luckily, they stopped checking letters and we made our way in. I met Stripped Shirt Girl and Token Gay Guy (self named). We all chatted and laughed our way through the winding bookstore. We read The Stick Man while in the children's section. Good book. When we got up to Missy and Ree's mother-in-law we asked if we could get a picture with them. They are super nice. We talked to Missy about Banana Republic and comfy sweaters and skiing and wonderful Ree.

Finally we could see PW. She was still unbelievably cheerful. And seemed genuinely happy to meet all of us. We talked to Ree about my upcoming marriage to Random Guy and how the two girls I had glued myself to were going to be in the marriage too. Those are the kinds of things you talk about when you have waited in line until 11:30. Oh, and most of the wait was in the November cold outside. We talked about the random box of tissues that someone had glued Marlboro Man's face to and given to Ree. Of course we got a picture. Then I said "Thanks Ree" and was on my way.

So worth the hours of wait time. And, if I do say so myself, I think I got the sweet end of the deal. I didn't show up at 3 in the afternoon and still got my book signed.

Thanks PW.

Grandpa's Funeral, in pictures

I took some pictures at the viewing and funeral. I thought I would share. I still cry a lot. But he is free from his worn out body.

The last picture I have of grandpa, Aug 30, 2009. At this point he was already moved to the hospital bed in his home, instead of the recliner that he used for years.

Us 4 kids. All of us smiled, which is a feat.

The original 6 in the KC Johnson family. Most of us smiled.

3 members of the Military were there to do a salute at the cemetery.

Much like the guards for the Queen of England, they were very stoic.

The 8 pallbearers that were in town. James, Greg, Chris, Trevor, Ben, Shaun, Kyle, Brett. Eric wasn't able to come.

The casket and flag.

They held the flag above the casket while taps was played.

Not a dry eye as she played Taps. Quite sobering. Thank you for your service for our country.

They folded the flag.

And presented it to my dad, the eldest of the Johnson kids.

Marching away. I wasn't able to get a picture of them saluting my dad after they gave him the flag. I was in the wrong place.

My dad and the flag.

Before being lowered into the grave.

The flowers that made me cry. I typically mourn in silence, in that I don't like to tell people my problems. Well, I had told a couple friends, and they gave me flowers. And I cried like a baby when I saw them.

wash

The other day I put 2 SD cards in my back pocket so that I would have them while I was taking pictures, in case I needed more memory. Today I washed my jeans.

Poor sad lost memory.

I love you, Grandpa

The flag is at half mast. My grandpa died this morning. I guess you could say that it was expected, but that doesn't mean I miss him any less.

My grandpa was an amazing man. We were very close.

When my family lived in California my grandparents would come to visit us. They would ride Amtrak from Utah and would spend a week or two visiting. My grandpa would always walk to the elementary school to pick us up and would walk home with us. We always stopped at the grocery store on the way home where we each got to pick out a treat or toy.

When they were back home in Utah he and my grandma would send us 2 dollar bills. I remember thinking that they were the coolest things ever, and I wouldn't ever spend them because they were special, because they were from my grandparents. I still have a hard time spending 2 dollar bills.

Once or twice a year my family would drive from California to Utah to visit. My grandpa always took us to the 49th Street Galleria. We would mini golf. Every visit we did this, and I always looked forward to it. I think it was one of my favorite things to do in Utah. I think of him every time I drive by the old 49th Street Galleria.

Grandpa Ken served in WWII on a submarine. He was very proud of his service. I am patriotic because of him. I know how to properly fold a flag because of him.

He got his Silver Beaver in the Boy Scouts of America organization. He came out to California for each of my brother's courts of honor when they got their Eagles. I know a lot about scouting because of him.

I could always talk to my grandpa. In the last 10 years since my grandma died, I have spent a lot of time talking to my grandpa. Because his sight was failing, I would read to him. I don't know if he got anything out of those times, but I will always remember them.

When I was 12 my family moved back to Utah just 3 houses down the street from my Grandpa. I spent a lot of evenings with the "porch patrole," a group consisting of my grandparents and their best friends/neighbors the Becks. We would sit out there each night and just watch the evening pass. I wasn't allowed to move a lot because it would turn the porch light on via the motion detector. I spent a lot of time listening to my grandparents on that porch. After my grandma died I would sit on the porch with my grandpa.

He was always quiet. But I always knew he loved me. Even at the end when he had dementia, he always recognized me. We would have wild conversations as the dementia took his memory. He was always happy despite the confusion, which I am grateful for. I told him one day that he was looking thin and that maybe I should get on his diet (not eating), he told me to get on it. I talked to him about his "girlfriend" at the care center. He said he didn't have just one girlfriend. I told him that there was only so much dating that could be done in this world and since he had so many girlfriends I couldn't have a boyfriend. He laughed. We always laughed together.

When I was 10 I came out to Utah by myself to visit. I spent a lot of time with all of my grandparents. My grandma June made me a wonderful scrapbook, a copy for her and a copy for me. I now have both copies. At the end are the testimonies of both my grandma June and my grandpa Ken. I cherish this book. His testimony:

"Dear sweet, young Andrea Kay,

Just want to bear a special testimony to you of the Gospel in which we all believe. This Gospel has always been a very important part of my life and also important in the lives of your great grandparents, and your great, great grandparents.

I know this Gospel is true, and that God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ did appear to Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove. I know that it was through Joseph Smith that the Gospel, which had been taken from the earth following the death of the original apostles, was restored to the Earth. I know that through this restoration, we have the true authority to act in God's name here upon this earth. Further, this authority was restored to Joseph Smith by John the Baptist and then by Peter, James, and John who had recieved it from Jesus Christ while he was still upon the Earth.

I also know that we who have been baptized by this authority have the privilege (and also the responsibility) to choose for ourselves what we will do while we live here in this world. Those choices will determine what we will do after our mortal death.

Our families are so very important and we must always honor our parents and our families. Never do anything to discredit them nor the Church. The Lord promises great blessings to all of us - if we keep His commandments and always to good things.

I ask the Lord to continue His blessings upon you as you study and learn the Gospel, and pray daily to Him, being receptive to the Spirit. You are a special young girl - and we love you dearly.

Love,

Grandpa J. (signed)"

I cherish our time together. I spent a while with him last night. I just sat near him and talked to him. He didn't respond. I knew that the end was close and was glad to share more precious time with him.

For several years he has been too frail to make it to the temple, something he cherished all his life. I always wanted him at my wedding, but feared that he wouldn't be able to make it. Now he can.

I love you, Grandpa.

The summer: family edition

This summer was full of fun. I have not blogged about any of it. So here goes. This is the family portion of the summer. Our family went to Thanksgiving Point and to Yellowstone. More family time than we are used to, and we are all still friends. Good news. I know the pictures are not in order, but I am not going to do anything about it.

Connor didn't want to get his hands dirty so he ate his ice cream sandwich off the table. My laughing might have been an encouragement. I am a good aunt.

Hilary braved the cold water to entertain the kids. She is better than the rest of us.

Annie playing at the lake at Yellowstone.

My dad, the photographer.

The Jr Park Rangers. Turns out that pants are not a required part of the uniform.

One of my favorite pics from the trip.

Cute Ellie and Hilary.

This picture does not do justice to the dirtiness that was Nathan.

The four kids, who refuse to all smile at the same time.

Ah, cute. These two were all about holding hands.

Chris and his boys.

Greg and Ellie.

Downward Dog by Nathan.

Liz.

It is important to get very very close to the flowers with the magnifying glass.

Again with the hand holding.

Chris and Nathan and the golf cart.

Examining the flowers.

Ellie, at Great Grandma Verla's house.

Nathan at Great Grandma Verla's house.